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ALL POSTS FOR waywarD PARTNERS Q&A

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  • Wayward Partner Q & A
I need to let go, I just can't.
Wayward Partner Q & A

Please Help Me… I Just Can’t Let Go!

I’m a wayward spouse that had been involved in a 5-year affair with an ex-girlfriend from 20 years ago. She divorced her husband 5 years ago and is a single mom. I’m 43, married with 2 children. I have read countless material on infidelity and the emotional cost that accompanies it. I’m truly experiencing the emotional fallout of my poor choices. I’m familiar with the “fog” and the “bubble” and the web of lies and deceit I have created. There was no D-day… it ended in secret much like it began. And it’s been 6 weeks of no contact! My problem is that my heart and mind are not aligned. I love her (my AP) and feel that I’m making …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

Help for Wayward Spouse to Understand

I’m the wayward spouse needing help to understand. It’s been about 8 weeks since D-Day. The first few weeks, we were working together on the pain and recovery, but about 4 weeks ago, it was like a light switch went off. She has since told me, “I will never forgive you and you will never have me again.” She put herself on dating websites and started dating several weeks ago. We had a very deep love, and it seems as if it’s just being dismissed, along with the kids, house, business, etc. I am in individual counseling and am doing everything I can to deal with this; I want to have hope that this will pass with time, when she …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

Can I Still Have My Affair Partner in My Life?!

I’ve been married for 8 years and have three children. My best friend for over 20 years and I had an emotional affair. We only kissed, but several times! We decided to end the affair before it escalated further. Is it possible to still have my affair partner in my life?! I want to be with my husband and work on our relationship. My best friend said if I tell my husband about us, our friendship is over. He will remove me from his life. He doesn’t think I need to tell my husband. I’m trying desperately not to lose my husband or my best friend! Thank you for the opportunity to serve. I understand the concerns you’re raising in …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

How Can I Get Away from My Former Affair Partner, If We Live in the Same House?

What is the best way to manage seeing your former affair EVERY DAY, since they live in the same house you do? The affair has ended, and I’m trying to maintain a level head with my husband and children who are unaware of the situation. But it’s increasingly challenging because we commonly cross paths, use the same driveway, etc., etc. I would appreciate some guidance in this situation, as it’s really challenging for me to deal with. Thank you for the opportunity to serve. First of all, let me say… it can be very difficult to maintain your sanity after the intensity of an extramarital affair. And if there’s one thing that could make it even more challenging, it’s when …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

My partner is struggling with his own guilt

I have known my friend for about 6 years now. And in June last year, we began a relationship. It’s very complicated. His wife of 30 years was diagnosed with a rare disease that attacks the nervous system, and the same with his middle son who is now 26 years old. She has been in a wheelchair for the past 5 years. He has lived in different continents than her and visits her during business trips approximately 3 times a year. He is absolutely devoted to me now, and we have decided it’s time to face the music, as we both would like to be together. He is feeling tremendously guilty about abandoning his sick wife. They have not been …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

Addicted to Emotional Affairs?

I am in my early 30s and in a deeply loving and healthy relationship for the first time in my life. The sex is amazing, and my significant other completely “gets” me to the point where words don’t always need to be spoken. It’s everything fairy tales have you dream of. MY issue is that, even so it seems I have this insatiable desire to have a sexual relationship with his best friend. (This is not a new issue, I have dealt with it in past relationships; however, I always knew why it occurred. This time around completely baffles me.) Luckily, his best friend doesn’t live nearby, and I haven’t actually had direct contact with him for over a year. …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

Can trust be rebuilt in a marriage with a case so extreme?

Both my wife and I have cheated. But we love each other, and we want our family to stay together. The thing crippling us is trust. We both are having a hard time trusting each other. Can trust be rebuilt in such an extreme case as ours? Thank you for the opportunity to serve. Your question is a very common one for people — like you and your wife — who have experienced multiple occurrences of infidelity. When it comes to rebuilding trust, there are no shortcuts, and no easy answers. Here are a few pointers to get you headed in the right direction. Rebuilding trust in a marriage after cheating is like rebuilding a home in the same spot …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

I can’t seem to get over the other man, I am dying inside

I am 28 years old and have known my husband since I was 13. We’ve been married for 7 years and have 2 kids ages 9 and 7. I met a man who showed interest in me in Jan of 2007. One day, I reconnected with this man and gave him my number. It was an overwhelming feeling, like I couldn’t stop myself. The next day, he called. We started out just getting to know one another. I couldn’t wait to see him or talk to him. I started to fall in love with this man, knowing it was wrong. He’s in a very similar situation to mine. Been with his wife since they were very young and married 14 …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

How Can We Rebuild After Double Affairs?

I’ve been married for a little over 4 years to my husband. I cheated on him a couple of times in the past, and he recently found out about it. I know the reason I cheated was related to the fact that I was raped when I was younger, and I never did anything to help me deal with what being raped had done to me emotionally. When I cheated, it had nothing to do with wanting pleasure or the men I cheated with. My husband was away from me for extended periods of time (6 months to a year) when I cheated. I regret what I did with every ounce of me. I love my husband very much. After …

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Wayward Partner Q & A

I was an anti-cheater, now turned into a cheater.

About 9 months ago, I was in a physically — and mentally — tough training environment, and became very close to a man who was also there. We leaned on each other for support and became very good friends. We also live in the same town, so on downtimes, we would carpool to go home and see our families. The last week of the training, we went out to celebrate, and things escalated from friendship to a sexual nature. We had sex two more times since then. We are both married and were in mutual understanding that we love our spouses and therefore would never want to do anything to ruin our marriages — such as tell them. We still see each …

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Wayward Partner Q & A
I was an anti-cheater, now turned into a cheater.

About 9 months ago, I was in a physically — and mentally — tough training environment, and became very close to a man who was also there. …

Read My Answer →
Wayward Partner Q & A
How Can We Rebuild After Double Affairs?

I’ve been married for a little over 4 years to my husband. I cheated on him a couple of times in the past, and he …

Read My Answer →
Wayward Partner Q & A
I can’t seem to get over the other man, I am dying inside

I am 28 years old and have known my husband since I was 13. We’ve been married for 7 years and have 2 kids ages …

Read My Answer →
Wayward Partner Q & A
Can trust be rebuilt in a marriage with a case so extreme?

Both my wife and I have cheated. But we love each other, and we want our family to stay together. The thing crippling us is …

Read My Answer →
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