MEET SUZIE JOHNSON
Author, Life Coach & Leading Expert on Overcoming Infidelity
affair recovery expert since 2003
More than a coach, she’s a survivor
Suzie began her career as a marriage coach almost by accident. She started out wanting to fulfill her lifelong dream to become a child psychologist, but quickly became disillusioned with the traditional approaches to mental health and wound up dropping out of the field to take a job in corporate America. However, because of her natural inclination to help and her innate wisdom about relationships, soon the women in her corporate office began lining up at her door for relationship advice. This went on until one day, her boss called her into his office and suggested (sarcastically) that she ought to open a relationship counseling service because he was tired of seeing “a line of women” outside her office door. Suzie took his advice and soon was helping friends, then friends of friends. The word continued to spread quickly, resulting in a busy relationship coaching practice. Then in 2001, after her own brush with infidelity, Suzie began to specialize in only helping men, women and couples rebuild their relationships after infidelity. In 2005, she launched GoAskSuzie.com, a website devoted exclusively to helping people deal with the aftermath of infidelity, which has now become one of the most respected websites in the world dealing with this issue.
EDUCATION & SKILLSET
Where clinical skills meet emotional wisdom
Suzie is a marriage coach specializing in infidelity recovery. She’s a marriage and relationship coach credentialed through the University of Miami, and a member in good standing with the International Coach Federation. She’s a certified clinical hypnotherapist with more than 6,000 hours in conversational and clinical hypnotherapy. Suzie is also a highly-trained neurolinguistic programming practitioner with more than 6,500 hours in clinical applications. Suzie has additional training in other methodologies such as appreciative inquiry, compassionate communications and facilitating true forgiveness.
The Globally Accessible Expert
Suzie’s coaching practice is truly global. Suzie has coached celebrities, CEOs and ordinary citizens. And because her sessions are done via phone or Skype, she is highly accessible on a global scale that very few other professionals can match. And to date, she has worked with men, women and couples from just about every major English-speaking country around the world, including Canada, France, Australia, New Zealand, Dubai, India, Hong Kong, United Kingdom, countries in Europe, and many others.
Rules tell you what to do, but principles tell you what works
We define principles as those guiding thoughts and ideas that work. They are universal and self-evident and can easily be verified by one’s own experience. The following are some of Suzie’s guiding principles that are presupposed, taken for granted and acted upon both in her personal and professional approach.
Love wins! Suzie’s core philosophy can be summed up in two words: LOVE WINS. And by starting with this positive outcome in mind, Suzie works backwards using only technologies, principles, strategies, ideas, assumptions and notions that are in alignment with this outcome. Therefore, all her programs, teachings and advice reflect her love-based approach and are designed to move her clients closer toward this outcome.
What is not love… is a call for love. Our thoughts come from one of two sources: “love” and “other than love” (ego). So what isn’t love… is only a call for love. Infidelity is a call for compassion (not contempt). While it may be easy to write off other people’s mistakes as worse than our own, one fact remains: we all make mistakes. Therefore, infidelity (and all acts of betrayal) is a call for love. And when someone calls for love, the appropriate response is compassion… not contempt.
Happiness is letting go of fear. Unhappiness comes from the hardening of our hearts in response to fear and uncertainty. Therefore, the return of happiness means opening your heart and letting go of fear. Therefore, anything that inspires you to let go of fear and opens your heart to love and to trust again… is therapy.
No matter what you think you are, you are more than that. We all have the resources we need to effectively solve problems and deal with our environments. Essentially, the tools and capability for enduring happiness (enlightenment) are built in inside us. Therefore, it is impossible to overestimate our value.
No one is wrong or broken. People work perfectly. We’re all executing our strategies perfectly, but sometimes those strategies may be poorly designed, outdated or just ineffective. The goal then is to find and adopt more effective (genius) strategies for getting what we want from our lives and relationships.
Life doesn’t make us suffer. It’s our perceptions that cause suffering. Our perception (way of seeing) and the interpretations of what things mean (story) is what causes us to suffer. Therefore, if we want to heal our lives, it’s our story we tell ourselves and our perception of what things mean and why things happened that need changing… not the person or the event.
Forgiveness is the key to emotional freedom. Unforgiveness is mental suffering brought on by: (1) the persistent fantasy of having a better past, and (2) the continued wish to punish those who prevented you from having the past you wanted to have. Sadly, the unforgiving mind creates a prison in which it seeks to hold on to offenses and to punish others. But since no thought leaves the mind of the thinker, the only person that the mind punishes is itself. Therefore, the key to freedom is forgiveness… because with true forgiveness, you release that urge to punish in your mind, which frees you .
Boredom is the kryptonite of monogamy. Everything in life has a trade-off — monogamy is no exception. And when it comes to monogamy, the trade-off is “newness”, and this is why boredom is the number one cause of infidelity (not lack of love). Therefore, when boredom strikes, it should never be ignored or feared; rather, it should be treated like the engine light in your car — as a signal that it’s time to make a change, time to reconnect, reengage, stop, slow down and savor the moments of your life.
Fun is fundamental. The most intelligent species on the planet are those who retain the ability to play all throughout their lives — humans, dolphins and chimps, to name a few. Therefore, it tells you that fun is not only fundamental to evolution, but it’s a vital component for intelligence, learning and dealing with life itself. This is why the best gurus help us “lighten up”, the best coaches help us “not sweat the small stuff”, the best teachers make it fun to learn, and why laughter is still considered the best medicine.
Coaching… not therapy. A coach isn’t interested in changing you; they’re interested in bringing out the best that already exists within you. Therefore, a good coach does not bring change; they bring a different perspective and a richer variety of choices. This is important because excellence comes from having many choices, and wisdom comes from having multiple perspectives.
Learning IS success. The goal of every experience is learning success. The goal of a life coach is to help you see all challenging situations as a teaching device. In doing this, Suzie helps you to redefine the rules for winning, making your triumph over tragedy not only possible… but impossible to miss.
Strategies… not analysis. Rather than focusing on what works or doesn’t work, digging around in your childhood to look for what went wrong or analyzing the dark to find the light… Suzie brings strategies that are proven effective. She models the skills, strategies and technologies used by people whose lives and relationships are working. She teaches those guiding principles, techniques, tools and strategies to help people build the life and relationship they want based on “what works”. This positive approach puts learning success within reach of everyone.
Active recovery… not passive recovery. There are two ways to process pain. We can do it actively, or we can do it passively. Suzie’s approach is teaching people the skills that help them “actively” recover rather than “passively” wait on something to happen because knowing, wanting and wishing does not lead to doing, which is why many mistake “learning to live with misery” for true recovery. But the two are not the same. True recovery means the end of suffering, and that change must be experienced. Therefore, recovery comes from the doing (not the wishing or hoping).
No answers… only choices. And the people who enjoy the most passionate and happy lives are those who have a map of the world that allows them to perceive the greatest number of available choices and perspectives. Therefore, happiness is the ability to see a variety of good choices. Genius comes from habitually making good choices. Self-esteem is fueled from liking the choices you make, and trust comes from knowing you will continue to have good choices in the future.
Every behavior has a positive intention. Our actions are not random. We’re always trying to achieve something that we value and that benefits us. In other words, every behavior has a positive intention. This is why it’s important to separate intention behind an action from the action itself. This helps us to be compassionate, because when a person has a better choice of behavior that also achieves the positive intention, they will choose the better strategy. Because as Maya Angelou says, “When people know better, they do better.”
Suzie does private phone or Skype coaching with men, women and couples from all around the world. Best part? Book online and immediately view her calendar and availability. Have the power of a leading expert right at your fingertips. Find out more about private coaching with Suzie.
For the discerning couple, Suzie offers a 3-day couples intensive weekend retreat. This can be held at our Dallas location or in your country, city or town. Please note… This is a concierge experience that is totally customized and specifically designed for you and your goals. No two weekend retreats are ever the same. Find out more about Suzie’s weekend couples retreat.
Home Study Programs
These are private, home study audio coaching programs you can listen to online or download to computer or mobile devices. Suzie coaches you through her entire recovery and overcoming process without you ever having to leave the comfort of home. Best part? You’ll have her best strategies, insights & specific help right at your fingertips… whenever you need them, for as long as you need them.
Soon, Suzie will offer 3 different video-based 30-day online workshops. For couples, she offers Passionate Monogamy — to reignite the passion in your marriage. For those struggling to move on, there’s True Forgiveness — for return to happiness after infidelity. For unfaithful partners, she offers Wayward Rehab — for winning back the love, trust and happiness lost. Find out more about Suzie’s online workshops here.