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Suzie Johnson, cpc

Marriage coach & Affair Recovery expert since 1999

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WELCOME!

This website is designed to be a two-way conversation. Where you can ask questions, read or listen to my answers, advice and insights about love, trust & overcoming infidelity.

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Testimonials

I WILL DEFINITELY BOOK SOME MORE COACHING WITH HER

It was a great session I had with Suzie, more than exceeded my expectations and was of great help. Thank you very much for organizing this and I will definitely book some more coaching with her.

donna,

an Affair Partner

The Power of a Passionate Husband

Answered by Suzie Johnson

Updated:

On the first day of freshman physics, a college professor wrote the following question on the chalkboard: Question: Is light a particle or a wave? Answer: Yes.

He then turned around to the class and said “This is the essence of physics. If you understand this idea, you’ve grasped the essence of physics from gravity to quantum theory. The rest of what you’ll learn is just details. Now let me see by a show of hands those of you who get it. “The majority of students in the room raised their hands. “Now let me see by a show of hands those of you who don’t get it.” A smaller group raised their hands. (I’m in the smaller group.) “Okay,” he said, “For those of you who don’t get it, let me share a classic Zen story that might help.

The story goes like this…

“There once was a famous Zen master who told his students that his greatest teaching was this: Buddha is the

of his disciples was so impressed with this insight that he decided to leave the monastery and retreat to the wilderness to meditate without distraction on this one key insight. And so he spent the next 20 years doing just that. 

Then one day, he met another monk passing through the wilderness. 

It turned out that this monk had also been studying with the same teacher. So he asked him, Did the master tell you what his greatest teaching was? ‘Yes,’ replied the new monk, ‘he was very clear on this. He said his greatest teaching was: Buddha is NOT the mind.’”

meditating monks

What did the professor want us to learn?

He was trying to show us that there are inherent paradoxes in the laws that govern the universe (or multiverse, according to quantum theory). In other words, although these laws are black and white, nothing IS ever really black or white — because a thing can have two opposite qualities (or potentials). Now, I wish I could tell you that I understood these ideas right way, but alas, just like that monk in the Zen story, it’s taken me years to get that I didn’t get it.

By now, you’re probably wondering…

…what exactly does the paradoxical laws of physics have to do with being a passionate husband? Well, a lot more than you might expect, and in the next few minutes, I’m going to help you make that connection. But before I get into all that, let’s talk about why I’m so interested in helping you make the connection in the first place.

My Backstory

For more than twelve years, my work has centered on teaching skills that help men, women, and couples learn how to create and sustain Passionate Monogamy.

Why Passionate Monogamy?

Because without passion, monogamy is hard work. Why? Because of a little pesky thing built into the human DNA called “free will”.

You see, while Mother Nature hardwired monogamy into the brains of certain animals, she did not do so for human beings. This means that the human sex and mating instinct is free. Therefore, for us, monogamy is a choice (and a really good one, if you ask); in the end, it’s a lifestyle we volunteer for. But here’s the thing about voluntary actions: They can’t be forced. They can only be inspired. Therefore, if we want to create and sustain a monogamous relationship, we must also be able to inspire the desire (in ourselves and in our partners) to choose monogamy.

What inspires our desires to stay monogamous?

Two things…

  1. Passion
  2. Principles

Think of it this way.

Passion is like the sugar that sweetens monogamy, and principles are like the salt that preserves it. If either one is missing or begins to decline, that relationship becomes vulnerable to temptation. Now of the two, it’s my opinion that the decline of passion is by far the more dangerous thing that can happen in any monogamous relationship. Maybe you’re surprised to hear me say that since it would be easy to assume that even if passion declines in a marriage, then our principles (commitment) should see us through, right? In an ideal world, this might be true. But in the real world, it just isn’t. That’s because living in monogamy without passion is like living in a room without windows. Eventually, even principles won’t be able to hold you; you’ll seek ways to escape it.

Basically, it comes down to:

  • Monogamy + Passion = Paradise
  • Monogamy – Passion = Prison

Therefore, a big part of what makes monogamy successful is having the skills to inspire, sustain and renew passion in your marriage. So now that you know how important passion is in a marriage, let’s talk about how all

this affects you.

It’s my observation that there are basically two types of married men:

Those who consistently inspire their wives’ desire, passion, and respect, and those who routinely fall short. Those husbands who are able to consistently inspire their wives’ desire, I call “passionate husbands”. Those who routinely fall short, I refer to as “passive husbands”.

Passionate Husband vs Passive Husband

Notice: The difference between a passionate husband and a passive husband has nothing to do with the man’s looks, money, religion, or social standing. It strictly comes down to the man’s ability — his ability to consistently inspire his wife’s desire, passion, and respect. The word “consistently” is important here (more on why later).

passion makes mongamy paradise

Passionate Husband: consistently inspires desire, passion, and respect
Passive Husband: routinely fails to inspire desire, passion, and respect

Maybe you’re wondering…

…are the skills and abilities needed to consistently inspire a woman’s desire, passion, and respect the product of a man’s DNA? In other words, are some men just born to be passive or passionate husbands?

To answer that question, let’s go back to the story with which we began.

Remember that question the physics professor wrote on the blackboard: Is light a particle or a wave? The answer was “yes”, meaning it’s potentially both. Well, a similar paradox is hardwired into our own human nature. For example, while every man has the potential to be a passionate husband, he also has the potential to be a passive one.

o, we could then pose our question like this:

Are you a passionate or a passive husband?

Answer: Yes

If you remember… I told you the word “consistent” would be important. Here’s why: Since you have the potential to be both passionate and passive, the key is to ask yourself which one you most consistently are.

This is a very important question to ask yourself.

But what’s even more important is that you arrive at an honest answer. To help you do that, I think it might be helpful to give you a better understanding of what it means to be a passionate husband.

Because if you think about it…

…before today, has anyone ever sat you down and explained to you in plain English exactly what it means to be a passionate husband? Has anyone ever taken the time to show you what you can consistently do to inspire your wife’s desire, passion, and respect — day after day, night after night, decade after decade? If you’re like most guys, the answer to that question is NO.

But today, all that can change.

That’s because coming up is a crash course on what it takes to be a passionate husband — the type of man who’s able to consistently inspire a woman’s desire, passion, respect and, perhaps most importantly, her loyalty. And the way I’m going to do that is by sharing with you the Top 10 Super Attributes developed by passionate husbands. Now, I call these qualities “Super Attributes” because while every husband has the potential to develop them, not every husband will. That’s because the development of these attributes is notautomatic (it takes effort), and because they can’t be bought, sold, or inherited (they must be earned).

Your mission (should you choose to accept it):

1) Read and review each of the 10 Super Attributes developed by passionate husbands.
2) Self-evaluate, using your intuition (gut) as your guide, how consistently you display each Super Attribute in your own marriage. Assess yourself (intuitively) using a Mild-Medium-Hot scale: Mild means not consistent; Medium means somewhat consistent; Hot means pretty much consistent.

SIDE NOTE:

  • Notice! This is about evaluating yourself, not criticizing yourself.
  • Notice! This is about consistently moving toward the Super Attributes, not giving wrong or right answers.
  • Notice! This is about increasing self-awareness, not inflicting self-judgment.

Now, let’s examine these Super Attributes…

Passion Self-Evaluation Starts Here

RED Box number icon 01

Lives with Integrity

Overview: Living with integrity isn’t for the weak-willed, faint of heart, immature, or wishy-washy. To live with integrity means to be consistently loyal to your principles, regardless of temptations to abandon them. This requires a man to “be his own man”, rather than trying to “be a real man”. Therefore, you practice integrity by being true to yourself and to others. This includes keeping your word and honoring your agreements.

Why is this Super Attribute attractive to women?

Living with integrity is super attractive to women for one key reason: It inspires trust, and trust is the ultimate aphrodisiac for a woman (read that again). To a woman, trust represents both safety and freedom. It’s a mental aphrodisiac and an emotional tranquilizer. For her, it’s the key ingredient in relationship happiness, and the secret sauce in the recipe for lasting romance.

10 Do you live with integrity
RED Box number icon 02

Displays calm, assertive energy

Overview: If there’s one quality in a man that will attract any woman, that quality is strength. When a woman speaks of strength, she’s not speaking of physical strength. Nope, for a woman, masculine strength is revealed in the way a man handles things like stress, pressure and discomfort.

What’s calm, assertive energy? It’s the ability to stay calm in chaos and make good decisions under pressure. Every time a man shows calm, assertive energy, he sends his wife the message that he can handle anything she (or life) throws at him. And that type of message is interpreted by a woman as masculine power and strength.

Cesar millan quote

Why is having calm, assertive energy super attractive to women?

Because it’s what separates the “alpha” (pack leader) from the “beta” (the followers). According to Cesar Milan, the famous dog whisperer, when you encounter a dog, says Milan, it immediately senses your energy. If you display stable energy, the dog responds to you with respect. However, if you display unstable energy, the dog responds to you with aggression or disrespect. Milan also goes on to say… “A stable pack leader is someone who is calm-assertive, present in the moment, balanced, and consistently provides clear rules and boundaries.

So, in the dog world:

Stable energy = calm, assertive, confident, alpha pack leader
Unstable energy = aggressive, fearful, anti-social, follower

What’s interesting is that it appears…

…that a woman can be equally sensitive to the presence of stable and unstable energy in males as well. Therefore, if (or when) her husband displays stable masculine energy, she responds to him with desire and respect. But if (or when) he displays unstable masculine energy, she responds with rejection and disrespect.

So, in the female world:

Stable masculine energy = passionate, romantic, strong, trustworthy, mature, leader
Unstable energy = passive, bully, insensitive, controlling, needy, selfish, immature

Keep in mind: What your wife responds to is your energy (not your words or behaviors). This means that a man can display outward signs of romantic behavior (candy, cards, gifts) and STILL not produce the right effect — because his woman isn’t just responding to his actions, but to the energy behind them.

Am I saying that your ability to display stable masculine energy is one of the keys to your marital happiness? Yes. That’s EXACTLY what I’m saying. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say this: It’s not just a key; it’s the MASTER key. Why? Because it’s the one key that unlocks all the other gates and opens all the other doors.

Signs you’re NOT showing calm, assertive energy:

  • Yelling, shouting, intimidating, or bullying with your voice or tone
  • Arguing, excusing, defensive actions
  • Verbalizing your frustration, agitation, irritation, or annoyance
  • Acting passively to avoid confrontation, unpleasantness, or discomfort
  • Using spite, blame-shifting, or guilt to retaliate or get revenge
  • Saying yes, when you want to say no
  • Making emotional or illogical choices under pressure
  • Using addictive substances to numb, evade, or deny your problems
  • Letting yourself be taken for granted, used, or exploited by a woman

Self-evaluate here: How consistently do you display this Super Attribute?

Mild (not consistent) Medium (somewhat consistent) Hot (very consistent)

On to Super Attribute number three…

Why Is This Super Attractive To A Woman?

RED Box number icon 03

Has a high degree of romantic and sensual intelligence

Overview: What is romantic and sensual intelligence? It’s the know-how, skills, and astuteness needed to excite a woman’s romantic feelings and arouse her sensual awareness. Why is this special knowledge important for a husband?

It’s important because a woman’s sexual desire emerges as the result of two things:

  1. The right conditions
  2. The right emotions 

For a woman, when the conditions are right, she feels romantic; when the emotions are right, she feels sensual, relaxed, and open. 

A husband who is low on romantic and sensual intelligence tends to be ignorant about what it takes to create the “right conditions” and elicit the “right emotions” in his wife.

On the other hand…

…the husband who has a high degree of romantic and sensual intelligence knows that while a woman’s capacity to experience sensuality is infinite, it only awakens under the right conditions. So he makes it his priority to learn how to create the conditions that inspire her desire, excite her senses, and awaken her erotic appetites.

Why is a husband with high romantic and sensual intelligence super attractive to women?

Deep down, every woman has certain repressed romantic desires that never go away. So, while loving a woman makes her feel appreciated, romancing her is what makes her feel desired. The man who has a high degree of romantic and sensual intelligence will know how to create the conditions that allow his woman to surrender in the bedroom, and deep down, that’s what romance is really all about… the ability to fully surrender to a man (read that again).

Signs of Sensual Intelligence 1
RED Box number icon-04

Is a charismatic communicator

Overview: The husband who’s a charismatic communicator is able to use his words (and body language) to elicit favorable responses from his wife. But this isn’t about manipulation or cheap tricks. Charismatic communication is about knowing how to “capture and lead” a woman’s imagination… towards the feelings she secretly desires.

Why is this super attractive to a woman?

Because emotions are the passport to female arousal; the battle for sexual happiness is won or lost in a woman’s mind. The husband who’s a charismatic communicator is able to charm her out of her bad mood, can verbally disarm her resistance (without firing a single shot), and leaves her feeling safe — thereby making it easy for her to give him total and complete sensual surrender.

Signs of Moving Toward Charismatic Communication

Here’s Super Attribute number five…

Immature Ego vs. Mature Masculine Ego

RED Box number icon 05

Lives in the moment (and not in his head)

Overview: There are only two places a man can live: in the moment, or in his head. Any husband who refuses to live in the present… lives in his head. This means his mental and emotional energy is either tied up in the past or wrapped up in some fantasy future — both of which leaves him absent (and unavailable) in his present relationship. As a result of so much diverted energy, this man is usually passive, lethargic, and pretty much “oblivious” to what’s going on right in front of him.

On the other hand… the man who lives in the moment enjoys the true riches of his relationship because happiness can ONLY be experienced in the present. In fact, in the Zen tradition, enlightenment can be summed up in the phrase: Be here now. Therefore, living in the moment is one of the key ingredients to a man’s deep inner contentment and happiness.

Bottom line?

The passive husband who lives in his “head” is mentally and emotionally unavailable, and is therefore unable to enjoy the true rewards of life. The passionate husband lives in the present, and is therefore mentally and emotionally available to capture and enjoy the highest rewards of life.

Why is a man who lives in the moment super attractive to women?

The husband who makes it a priority to “be here now” is totally available and will be able to respond appropriately in real time to whatever shows up in the moment. This allows him to fully engage with his wife and family on multiple levels, and there’s nothing as intoxicating for a woman as being with a man who is totally present and there for her.

6 Do you live in the moment or in your head
RED Box number icon 06

Has a mature masculine ego

Overview: Do you remember the story of Narcissus? He was the guy who spent endless hours gazing at himself in admiration. He did this so much that it angered the goddess of love, Aphrodite, who had to pull the boy aside and explain to him that he was wasting his time on the wrong object (himself). This is also the story of the immature ego.

What is the immature ego?

The “immature ego” is childish and has the “it’s all about me” worldview. 

It can be described as a hypnotic fascination with yourself to the exclusion of others (narcissism), or as having a ruthless appetite for meeting your needs without thought to the needs of others (selfishness). 

Husbands who have an immature ego can be seen as the modern-day version of Narcissus because they’ve become so fixated on self-gratification and meeting their own needs, wants, and desires, that they’re unable to be truly loving partners or team players in a relationship.

What is the mature masculine ego?

There’s a shift that can happen in a man’s life if he’s lucky — where his ego (whether by his own self-effort or because of life circumstances) makes the shift from immaturity (self-absorption) to maturity (self-awareness). 

And when that happens, his choices, priorities and whole way of seeing the world radically shifts. Now, rather than pursuing meaningless gratification, he can see the value in setting meaningful goals. Instead of seeking to get his needs met, he begins to look for people with whom he can share values. And instead of seeking power over others, he becomes more focused on having power over himself.

Immature Ego vs. Mature Masculine Ego

Here’s Super Attribute number five…

Immature ego:

  • Chronic excuse maker, chronic blame-shifter
  • Deceptive, greed-motivated, seeks unearned advantages (the easy way out)
  • Defensive, insecure, needy and codependent in his relationships
  • Tends to manipulate, or use guilt or force (verbal or physical) to control or gain power over others
  • Lacks insight, self-awareness and the ability to self-correct (fails to learn from his mistakes)
  • Is unable to tell the difference between meaningful goals and meaningless gratification
  • World view is Win/Lose (does whatever it takes to win, and gives himself permission to “use” others)
  • Lives in a “me” universe (seeks to get his needs met, to the exclusion of others)
  • Is self-absorbed, insensitive and narcissistic
  • Self-esteem and self-worth are attached to his penis, sex drive and sexual prowess
  • Objectifies the female (views women like “tools” to be used for validation or pleasure)
  • Competes with women (rather than honors them)
  • Willing to trade his power to gain approval
  • Marries to get “needs” met

Mature masculine ego:

  • Discards excuses (rather than defends them)
  • Lives with integrity, higher principles and his own personal code of conduct
  • Self-directed, self-aware, and self-guided
  • Worldview is Win/Win
  • Willing to self-correct and learn from his mistakes
  • Lives in a “we” universe (I’m OK, and you’re OK)
  • Honors and appreciates women (never competes with them)
  • Sees women as partners (not as objects or tools to be used to meet his needs)
  • Seeks power over himself (rather than seeking power over others)
  • Never trades his power (or principles) to gain approval
  • Marries to share values (rather than to meet needs)

Why is the mature masculine ego super attractive to women?

Well, it goes without saying that selfishness, narcissism, and self-absorption are unattractive traits in a man because there’s nothing more boring (or tedious) to a woman than living with a man who makes himself the object of fascination (especially in the bedroom). On the other hand, a man who has developed a mature masculine ego that allows him to be inclusive and considerate of his woman’s wants, needs, and desires is exhilarating because for a woman, that feeling of “being understood” is a mental aphrodisiac.

5 Do you have a Mature Masculine Ego

On to Super Attribute number seven…

Lessons From The Kama Sutra

RED Box number icon 07

Is a passionate man (but not a stud)

Overview: Do you know the difference between a passionate man and a stud? The difference is that a stud loves sex, and a passionate man loves women. So who exactly is the stud? This is the type of guy who uses his penis to validate his self-worth. His goal is to conquer (not to connect) with women. He’s more into performing than pleasing. In his world, sex has one goal — orgasm, usually his own — and anything that gets between him and that finish line is the enemy.

On the other hand…

…the passionate man is the type of husband who’s into making love, not just having sex. He’s interested in “connecting” with his wife mentally and emotionally, as well as physically. In his world, sex is a shared journey, and there’s just no prize for coming first.

Why is a passionate man super attractive to women?

When a woman is with a passionate man, she never has to wonder if it’s just sex he wants or if it’s her. She knows it’s her. This knowledge that she’s being valued not just as a sexual object but as a whole being ushers in a high level of comfort and security that’s impossible to describe.

Passionate Man or Stud
RED Box number icon 08

Seeks foreplay mastery

Overview: To fully understand this Super Attribute, begin by asking yourself this question: Where did you learn about foreplay? If you’re like most American husbands, then porn is the first place where you encountered foreplay. And yet, that’s the last place anyone should look for foreplay instruction. But it’s not really your/their fault, is it? After all, where is there a Kama Sutra foreplay school for married men? That’s right. There’s none! And because of this education shortage, most men never get beyond basic (boring) foreplay skills.

Now, for the good news…

There’s a certain insight a man gets if he’s lucky — when it becomes clear to him that the real secret to better sex is… better foreplay. 

At this point, he begins to recognize that although his wife may not want variety in partners, she does want variety in foreplay. 

So now, he begins to look for ways to expand his foreplay knowledge and skills, and when he does this, he will make the following incredible discovery: There’s a whole world of foreplay delights waiting for him to learn and enjoy.

Why is foreplay mastery super attractive to women?

secret to better sex

Two key reasons:

  1. Foreplay mastery banishes boredom. The husband who’s a foreplay master is able to mix up his game, bring a wider range of skills and techniques, and deliver dazzling and innovative sexual encounters, because for a woman, it’s never the sex that gets boring — it’s usually the foreplay!
  2. There’s an 80/20 formula for female sexual happiness. While a man heats up like a microwave, a woman’s desire heats up more slowly, like an oven. This means female sexual happiness is 80 preparation and 20 penetration. The man with foreplay mastery will have the “know-how” that allows the passion pot to heat up slowly, so that it could burn all night.
3 Are you a Foreplay master

Immature Ego vs. Mature Masculine Ego

Here’s Super Attribute number five…

SIDE NOTE: Men who lack foreplay skills often naively assume that for a woman, love and sexual desire are attached like Siamese twins. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. A woman can be in love and NOT feel like making love. And the reason that happens is usually because her husband has failed to inspire her desire. In other words, he simply lacks good foreplay skills.

Now, for the final two Super Attributes…

Are You A Passionate Or Passive Husband?

RED Box number icon 09

Is comfortable both giving and receiving Love

Overview: When a man doesn’t know how to love, he usually ends up fearing love, and fear of love is at the root of all relationship pain. In fact, many say it’s at the root of all human suffering. Why? Because fear of love turns loving actions into positive threats. What’s a positive threat? This is when something good feels threatening or wrong.

This is why men who fear love often end up:

  • Cheating or sabotaging a perfectly good marriage — because the love or happiness becomes more than what they feel they deserve or can handle.
  • Commitment phobic — because he views love as a threat, he tends to erect psychological walls and barriers to his heart and emotions, to prevent too much love from escaping or entering.
  • Love or sex addicts — because he fears real love, he spends his time pursuing substitutes (but no no matter how many substitutes for love he finds, it’s never going to be enough because nothing can replace true love).

On the other hand…

…because a passionate husband is not afraid of love, when he falls in love, he’s able stay there for life! This means he’s willing and able to give and receive love, trust, and affection in large gulps — and that’s an unbeatable combination for a woman because the kingdom every woman wants to be queen of… is the kingdom of the heart.

Signs Youre Open to Love 2

Remember: The love you get is the love you give. If a passionate man finds himself married to a woman unable (or unwilling) to match his capacity to give and receive love, he’ll end his association with her… without anger or resentment. But what’s more likely to happen is that his openheartedness acts like sunshine, inspiring her to give and receive more love than she has ever thought possible.

And now for the final super attribute (and probably the most important one of them all).

RED Box number icon 10

This is the One Super Attribute that changes everything!

Even if you’ve not paid attention to any of the previous Super Attributes of a passionate husband, lean in and pay very close attention to this one… The willingness to listen and learn and to do what works with your wife IS the difference that makes the difference.

We’ll break this Super Attribute into three parts:

  1. Willingness to listen
  2. Willingness to learn
  3. Willingness to do what works

Now, let’s look at each one:

1) Willingness to listen

Overview: : 90% of seduction is listening. Sadly, this isn’t a commonly known fact. Many men believe that being able to talk and “spin” is the secret — but it’s not. When we speak of listening, we mean conscious listening, where you mute your own inner chatter and listen to understand (not to fix or find fault). This type of listening is powerful and highly erotic to women, because it brings the sensation of being understood. This is why the man that represents the most dangerous temptation to a married woman is not the guy who’s chatting her up, but the one who’s quietly listening.

The willingness to listen is super attractive to women for two key reasons:

Reason #1: Women like to process things verbally. In other words, they like to talk their way through problems, changes, and challenges. This means a man who’s willing to listen brings to the table something every woman is looking for: acceptance. Without saying a word, he’s devastatingly charming.

Reason #2: For a woman, listening = love. Deep down, every woman fears never being fully seen and understood. The husband who listens to his wife consciously is able to hear what she’s saying, as well as what isn’t being said, so he can respond from a place of understanding her, rather than of fixing her. This feeling of being understood is one of the powerful languages of love to her, and this is why although a woman might live for excellent conversation, she will die for a man who listens to her.

2) Willingness to learn

Overview: There are only two kinds of husbands: those who know what works with their wives, and those who haven’t got a clue. The husband who’s willing to learn will take the time to watch and observe what works with his wife. He’ll know exactly what she likes, what brings her joy, what turns her on, what increases her confidence, what represents love, what makes her laugh, what feels romantic to her, what motivates her, what scares her, what inspires her, and so on… Therefore, he’ll be able to use his knowledge of her to earn her unwavering loyalty and undying support.

On the other hand…

…the husband who’s unwilling or who fails to take the time to learn what works with his wife will have to contend with guessing and winging it. He’s destined to meet with frustration, drama, and unhappy times in his marriage.

The willingness to learn is super attractive to women for one key reason:

A husband’s willingness to learn is the only guarantee his wife has that the marriage will continue to grow. Because in marriage (as in life), learning = growing, and failing to learn = dying. So as long as a man is willing to learn, he’s showing her he’s willing to grow, and it’s impossible to be bored with a man who’s always learning and growing.

3) Willingness to do what works

Overview: Most habits start out as good habits. They only become bad habits when we continue to do them in the face of overwhelming evidence that they no longer work. For a married man, sticking with habits that don’t work (bad habits) can become one of the biggest sources of marital problems. This happens when a man becomes so defensive and attached to a habit that he’ll cling to it, despite the fact that he’s already hurting himself and those he loves. Sadly, these husbands who defend rather than correct their bad habits often find themselves on a collision course with divorce. Why? Because consistently doing things that don’t work… will never work.

Why is the willingness to do what works super attractive to women?

When a man is willing to shift, adjust, and self-correct based on what works, he develops mature masculine power. What is “mature masculine power”? It’s what differentiates the average guy from the superhero. It’s the difference between the man who’s a “passive follower” and the man who becomes a “passionate pack leader” — and that type of mature masculine power is like catnip for women.

Now that you know all 10 Super Attributes, let’s go back to the question with which we began:

Are you a passionate or passive husband? To find out, turn the page…

So What Does Your Evaluation Say About You?

Self-evaluate here: How consistently do you move toward being a passionate husband?

Mild (not consistent)            Medium (somewhat consistent)            Hot (very consistent)

So what does your evaluation say about you?

Here’s what I think…

Those Super Attributes you rated yourself to be of Mild or Medium consistency show you where you have room to grow. Your job is to find ways to starve the passive characteristics of those attributes, and to nurture and grow the passionate ones.

And what about the Super Attributes that you rated yourself Hot?

Those are what I call your relationship super powers — the things that you bring to your marriage that give it energy and life and make you irreplaceable in her eyes.

What should you do with your relationship super powers?

You guessed it. Continue to expand them… Continue to grow them. The best thing about a super power is that it can continue to increase the goodness in your relationship all the way to forever.

Some final thoughts…

Now you know: There’s another level of the game being played right before your eyes.

How do you get into that game?

All it takes is willingness… the willingness to go for more… the willingness to reach for mastery… the willingness to get off the bench and show up fully present in your marriage.

Are you ready to step up to that challenge?

I believe you are. (Why would you read this much about it if you weren’t?) However, I’m here to remind you that reading about it isn’t enough. You must take it one step further. You must practice and experiment with the ideas we’ve discussed. Because to know isn’t enough. Knowledge becomes wisdom through daily experience.

Can you do that?

Of course, you can. And anytime you find yourself in doubt or you’re not sure what might be the best direction to go, just stop and ask yourself this question:

Does this move me toward being a passionate husband or away from being a passionate husband?

Just by taking the time to ask yourself the question, you level up your super relationship powers.

Until we speak again…

Remember… Love Wins!

 

Don’t forget… You can now get over 13.5 hours of my best Wayward Partner strategies. Learn More Here

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