forgiving infidelity

Suzie, I had an extramarital affair with a woman at work. How do I forgive myself for having betrayed my wife? She is such a wonderful person. Every time I see the hurt in her eyes, I feel like a total lowlife. I have caused her so much pain and hurt.

Suzie, I feel like I really want to forgive my fiancée, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to forgive her. I just can’t get past what she did. After all, she lied to my face over and over again. I would like to continue our relationship, but every time I think about what she did, I just get angry all over again. I know I need to forgive her so that we can move on, but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to let it go.

How do you know whether or not to forgive their infidelity? If there’s one question that people have asked me over and over, it is this: Should you forgive a spouse for cheating? Many will … Read more Should You Forgive a Cheating Spouse?

Dear Suzie, Two months ago, I had an affair with a married man who goes to my church. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I felt so madly in love with him. I threw caution to the wind and went ahead anyway. Now that it’s over, I feel deeply ashamed. I can’t seem to forgive myself.

A few years ago, I was sitting in a conference room waiting for the presenter to come and speak to our department. He was a local politician who wanted to pitch our group about helping him do more for the community. For me, it was just another marketing meeting, an ordinary workday. I wasn’t expecting anything special, but that was before Mr. Politician walked in.

Dear Suzie, I had a four-month long inappropriate relationship with a consultant I met at my job. My wife found out and was devastated. I never meant for any of this to happen. I’m desperate for my wife to forgive me, but I don’t know if she will ever get over me lying to her and being with another woman. What can I do to get her to forgive me? I am truly sorry for what I did. I want my marriage back. What do I need to do? – William B.

About 18 months ago, I went to my best friend’s bachelorette party in Las Vegas. I got drunk and ended up having oral sex with one of the male strippers. I told my husband about it the very next day. He’s already forgiven me and begged me to let it go, but I just can’t seem to do it.

Dear Suzie, I believe that forgiveness is important in helping me to heal and get past this, but a lot of people don’t agree. Many of my friends say they would never forgive, and a lot of experts say it’s not even necessary. So now, I am confused. How important is it to forgive someone who’s hurt you?

Dear Suzie, My best friend’s husband cheated on her more than 3 years ago, and even though they are still together, she has never forgiven him. I love my friend, but I am tired of hearing about how bad her husband is for what he did and how he hurt her. I try to help, but whenever I suggest she do something to help herself… she rebuffs me, stops talking to me for days, or cries and says I don’t understand since this has never happened to me. I have sent her repeated links from your website and she always ignores them, saying that she will never forgive, but she will still live with him for the kids’ sake. Deep down, I know she’s taking this too far, but I don’t know how to help, and I feel like I have no right to because I have never personally experienced it. Any advice you give will be appreciated.