Here’s the harsh reality. Once a partner’s infidelity has happened, there’s no way for you to make it “unhappen”. And so, in the aftermath of discovery, there are basically two roads before you. The first is the hard road, where the focus is on the wrongness of what was done to you, and the emphasis is circling the hurt time and time again. As a result, you grow more and more bitter over time. The second road is the high road. This is the road less traveled. This is where the focus is on healing and the emphasis is on moving forward. And as a result, you get better, stronger and wiser despite all the pain you’ve been through. So, two roads to choose after betrayal: the hard road or the high road. Which will you choose?
Here’s the bad news. If you’re in the group that chooses to take the hard road, then I do wish you all the luck in world. You’re going to need it. Because while no one can argue about the unfairness of infidelity, the fact is, the choice to focus on the hurt and the unfairness and the wrongness of what was done to you will only drain you of self-esteem and not them.
Here’s the worse news. Loss of self-esteem also leads to the decline of other positive emotions — emotions like hope, courage, faith, trust and resiliency. And it is also due to the decline in those positive emotions and the loss of power produced by the absence of those emotions, why the hard road is called the hard road.
Now here’s the challenge. Most people who’ll take the hard road have no idea they’re making that choice. In fact, many believe this is the only road they can take after a discovery like this. And it’s not their fault because our society often sends the message that once you’ve been wronged, it’s wrong to get over it too soon. Perhaps this is why so many betrayed partners end up becoming really good at suffering in silence, at keeping up appearances, and some are even geniuses at faking happiness. And it’s not because they’re not smart people; it’s more likely because they’re simply waiting on time to heal their wounds.
But here’s the problem. While time does heal all wounds, time has a way of healing very, very slowly. And just like how there’s no substitute for oxygen, there is no substitute for being happy now. So while pretending and faking and keeping up appearances might work for a while, ultimately, it becomes exhausting. And while we might be able to use anger or indifference to hide the pain, neither of those things will heal the pain. And while suppressing might help you bury the pain, it’s only a matter of time until the old pain surfaces again.
Now here’s the even bigger problem. There’s a huge difference between healing the hurt and simply living with the hurt. Sadly, many people can’t tell the difference, and so they confuse existing with living, managing with prospering, and enduring with well-being. But since none of those things can deliver true happiness, they will end up growing more and more bitter over time.
But there is good news. That doesn’t have to be your story. There is another way. You do have another option on how you want to move through the aftermath of betrayal. The hard road is not the only road. There is another way for you to move through a painful experience as this, but it’s different from the way you’ve been taught, and yet it works.
So here’s the key question. Are you willing to find out what that better way is for yourself? And are you willing to get better, rather than bitter, despite all the injustices done to you? Are you willing to give yourself permission to truly heal rather than simply tolerating the hurt?
If you are, then my Betrayed Partner Recovery online video course might be part of the solution you’ve been looking for.
My Betrayed Partner Recovery is a seven-step video coaching program… during which I guide you, nudge you, coax and coach you from the first moment of discovery towards taking that high road to healing and restoring happiness from infidelity. You should note this is not generic life coaching, but rather all the tips, tools, actions, steps, strategies and checklists you’ll be learning emerged from more than a decade of teaching betrayed partners just like you not only how to survive… but also how to truly heal and return to happiness after the worse has happened.
The best part?
You can access the Betrayed Partner Recovery online video course instantly. There’s no waiting and no awkwardness. You can begin right where you are, taking it one step at a time, listening and learning from the privacy and convenience of your own home.
The laws of healing are like the laws of gravity. They’re important for keeping you grounded AND for keeping you moving forward. So in this course, I will be teaching you what the laws of healing are as well as how to use them to extract power from painful experiences.
After betrayal, it often feels as if the whole world is a land mine, and any time, anything can trigger you into a dark mood or a dark place. Now if that describes you, don’t despair because in this course, I’m going to teach you how to manage, and in some cases completely neutralize, those triggers so you’re no longer at their mercy.
A quiet mind is a hard thing to find, especially after something so painful disrupts your life. And so this is why I’ve included, along with the regular course, my Quiet 10 audios. These are 10-minute guided meditations that will not only help you take your learning deeper, they’ll go a long way in helping you to quiet your mind.
While most people know they need to forgive, very few know how to go about doing it. So the good news is that, in this course, I’ll teach you my step-by-step process for truly forgiving your partner’s infidelity and releasing the pain that it brought into your life so that you can become free from those negative side effects forever.
See, anyone who’s been once through an infidelity knows that it’s the last thing they’ll ever want to go through again, and so it only makes sense to learn how to infidelity proof your marriage. The good news is that, in this session, I’ll be teaching you those skills.
“Your Self-Help Emergency Room Treatment”
Even if you’re well past the first 30 days, you’ll want to complete this first session. Why? Because it’s helpful for you to begin as you need to go on. Now, my goal for you in this session is to give you the tools and the checklists that will keep you out of overwhelm and prevent pitfalls and future regret makers.
“Your Essential Survivor’s Guide”
Now, the psychology of what it takes to survive is different for men and women, and so I’ve made my survival guide gender specific, so complete whichever session applies to you. Although I must say most clients end up doing both. So, my goal for you in this session is to give you the tools, tips and action steps that act like an emotional life vest to prevent you from sinking or drowning in uncertainty and overwhelm.
“Your Fire Extinguisher for Angry Emotions”
Here’s the thing. Anger is one of the biggest obstacles to healing, and it’s also one of the most difficult to move past. And yet, once you’re able to move past the anger, it will feel like a dark cloud that is moved away from the sun. Everything is lighter, brighter and more manageable. So my goal for you in this session is to give you my best tools, tips, and key insights for healing anger, thereby restoring the light to your heart and mind.
“Your Booster Shot for Healing and Resiliency”
Deep down, you know you didn’t deserve this type of pain, and so there is a certain level of resistance and resentment to having to heal it. The bad news is, this often delays, or in some cases, even suspends the natural healing process. So my goal in this session is to provide powerful insights and key perspective and life-enhancing tools that will act like a booster shot and jump-start your natural resiliency so that healing happens for you sooner, rather than later.
“Your Antidote for Unhappiness”
Forgiving infidelity is a lot like Einstein’s theory of relativity. While many people have heard about it, very few know exactly how it works. So my goal in this session is to provide you with my step by step formula for forgiving a cheating spouse and for you to do it in such a way that it takes the myth and mysteries and misconceptions out of it. That way, forgiving happens naturally and permanently for you.
“Your Super Glue for Repairing Broken Trust”
Trust cannot be repaired by hoping or wishing or promising. Trust is repaired by consistent right actions. This means you cannot demand trust; you must actively demonstrate it. So my goal for both of you in this session is to take the mystery out of restoring trust via actual trust building games and activities so that demonstrating trust is a real and achievable thing for both of you.
“Your Vaccine to Prevent History from Repeating Itself”
If you were to think of infidelity like a virus, this session would be your vaccine against it. And so my goal for both of you in this session is to provide you with the tools, relationship dynamics and approaches that I’ve used with other couples and have found to work the best in helping to boost your immunity and protect you and your relationship from infidelity ever happening again.
By the time you’re halfway through your sessions, a lot of your fears are going to be eliminated or greatly reduced. And by the time you’ve completed all seven sessions, you’ll have a new perspective on exactly what it’s going to take for you to move past the past and allow happiness to be your default condition again.
The best part?
You don’t have to wait days or weeks to get started. In fact, you can enroll today and get immediate access to my entire Betrayed Partner Recovery course and discover for yourself why so many other betrayed partners have found my course so helpful in their recovery process.
I am not asking you to buy the entire program right now. What I am suggesting is that you try it before you decide, so you can discover for yourself if my approach is a match for you. Audit for only $1, so you can compare this course with other types of information and advice you’ve tried and see how it stacks up. If you find this is a match for you, then upgrade to the full course. If not, there’s no further obligations (or hard feelings).
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Suzie is the first person to break through the pain of my spouse’s affair. I started self-destructing and giving up hope. I hated him and his lover. I sat in a cemetery two Saturdays ago thinking about life and death, and played Suzie’s program on forgiveness. I think I played it 5 times before it started to sink in. Because of Suzie’s Quiet 10, I have reclaimed sanity and serenity, and my anxiety attacks have lessened. I will recommend her to my Mom who is still reeling and bitter from my Dad’s affair more than 36 years ago. God is using you mightily to bless and heal us. THANK YOU, SUZIE!
For weeks, I had anxiously awaited what that final goodbye would look like, what would I say, what could I say? As she sat at my old desk, with my old job duties now proudly hers, I looked at her and I said “I forgive you”. She sobbed in my arms for a moment and when I released her I said, “Now you are going to have to find a way to forgive yourself,” and I walked out. I can honestly say, I did nothing that I am ashamed of. I was respectful, courageous and passionate. I showed mercy when the ego begged for punishment. Thank you so much!
We are going away this weekend. I’ve really struggled with anger these last couple of days, so going through Healing the Hurt this morning has helped. Suzie says that anger is a reaction to fear. I’ve thought a great deal about that and think I’ve pinpointed my greatest fear. I’m going to work on it today, so we can have a great weekend together. Please tell Suzie how grateful our family is for her insights and how much they have been helping us. And again, thank you for your quick attention and help.
Here’s the reality. Unfairness is a lot like rain: some falls in every life. And so sometimes bad things do happen to good people. And when it does, it puts you at a crossroads. You will have to choose how it will impact the rest of your life. Will you allow it to break you, or will you use it to bounce back stronger?
Here’s my wish for you. My wish is for you to find a way to turn the disadvantage to your advantage, and in the end, for you to come out better and not bitter, and for you to bounce back stronger and wiser than before. But sadly, what I want for you is not as important as what you want for yourself.
And so consider this. The next month is going to come and go regardless of if you do anything to help yourself get past the pain and heal the hurt brought on by their betrayal. And if that’s not enough, when you’re living with a wounded heart, time does have a way of passing very slowly.
An hour can drag by like a week; a month could feel like a year. And when you’re being consumed by negative images and tossed around like a rag doll by negative emotions, it can all feel like too much. And so if the thought of spending another month stuck in that dark place or the thought of you coming out weaker rather than stronger is just too much for you to bear, then let me invite you to go ahead and enroll in my Betrayed Partner Recovery course.
Let me guide you step by step towards taking that high road to healing after infidelity — that road that will ensure you bounce back stronger despite all the pain you’ve been through. And if that makes sense, I look forward to having you in the course.
Until we speak again.
Remember, Love Wins!
Got Questions? 800.822.8590 | 214.224.0460
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