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GoAskSuzie.com

america's leading expert on overcoming infidelity

WELCOME TO MY BLOG

Q&A About love, trust & overcoming infidelity

- Suzie Johnson, Cpc -

Affair Recovery Expert
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Welcome!

This blog is a non-judgmental and Love based conversation about how to deal with the after effects of infidelity using only positive strategies. Feel free to ask your questions. I answer the most interesting and helpful questions and post my answers weekly. – Suzie

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What can I say? My life was in shambles and the slew of bad choices I had made left me empty and miserable. In trying to save my marriage, I came upon Suzie on the web, and it was as if someone had left a light on in the dark. Desperate for any help, I booked a session with Suzie. Just in that first hour, I knew I found the help my wife and I needed. It was as if she knew me. And her frankness and compassion made me feel at ease and open. More so, her philosophy and…

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Why Is Our Connection So Overpowering?

Why is our connection so overpowering?

Answered by
Suzie Johnson

Question

Dear Suzie, We have a magnetic connection. Every time we walk by each other, there’s a powerful energy. Why are we so drawn to each other? Why do we get electric shocks of energy every time we stand near each other? Why do we make each other laugh and feel so happy the way no one else can? What’s this powerful thing happening between us? Is this love or what?

I see you’ve been hijacked by sexual emotions. This isn’t a sign of Love. It’s a sign of lust. Mother Nature does this to make sure we feel strongly enough to procreate. She doesn’t care about your career, how it might look in the work place, or how it might disrupt your life. She simply goes about her business of ensuring the survival of the human species… in a very impersonal way.

Call it lust, infatuation, chemistry, magnetism, or whatever you like — but don’t call it Love.

Brain scans are proving there’s a big difference between lust and true Love.

A series of experiments have shown how different regions of the brain light up when we’re experiencing lust versus those parts that light up whenever we’re experiencing love (deeper sense of attachment and fulfillment). The parts of the brain that light up when we’re experiencing lust is the caudate nucleus and the ventral tegmental area. These are also the areas that help our brain produce and receive a chemical called dopamine.

The research on dopamine is fascinating.

Studies of gamblers, cocaine users, and even people playing computer games for small amounts of money, show how these dopamine sites become extremely active as people score or win. What’s interesting is this (and most relevant to you and your question): these are the very same areas that light up when we’re experiencing lust.

What does this tell you?

That “rush” you guys are feeling is all a part of Mother Nature’s mating game.

Truth is, there’s nothing mysterious or out-of-this-world about it. In fact, if you guys were both single, I might even suggest that you enjoy the ride and see how far it goes. But since you’re married…

My advice can be summed up in one word: CAUTION.

My rule of thumb: Lust = Caution.

Much like being under the influence of drugs or alcohol, lust-infused decisions have a way of coming back to haunt you.

My suggestion?

Never make any life-changing decisions while under the primitive influence of lust.

As you think about that, think about this:

Maturity really comes down to one key thing: the ability to tell the difference between the things that are meaningful and the things that are meaningless.

I believe that this experience could be a lesson in maturity for you.

I have faith that you’ll pass this test with flying colors.

Until we speak again…

Remember… Love Wins!

  

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