Home Study CoursesBrowse Courses

Why Do People Cheat?


It’s the billion dollar question. The answer is elusive… because there are as many reasons why people cheat, as there are people.

What we know is this:

Couples who enjoy OPEN and HONEST communications are less likely to experience infidelity than those who don’t.

When a partner cheats, what they’re doing is reaching beyond the bounds of their relationships for “solutions” to problems they may be experiencing within themselves and within their primary relationships.

Of course, this tactic usually never works.

Why? Because choosing “deception” over honesty is always a weaker choice. A partner might rationalize betrayal by thinking “What they don’t know won’t hurt them,” or “This is harmless fun.”

And yet, the truth is, all behavior is caused. In other words, there are always deeper reasons “why” people behave in certain ways.

Finding out what their motives are can be complex. More often than not, only a skilled counselor or coach can create the environment which allows the deeper reasons to come to light.

So, read on with an open mind… and remember… without knowing your situation personally, we can’t confirm what’s actually going on or what might be the best course of action for you.

What follows are my theories, ideas and beliefs about the most common motives for cheating. These are based on actual accounts from wayward spouses. I’ve put them into separate categories (male and female) because I’ve noticed that each sex seems to have some variations in motives and reasoning.

Before you read further, please keep in mind that every situation is unique and there’s no way to be accurate about a person’s motive without speaking to them personally.

Men and women cheat for different reasons.

So let’s look at each separately. We’ll start by looking at the hidden motives of women.

Have you ever wondered…

Why do some women cheat, while others never stray no matter how tough things get?

Here’s what we know:

When polled anonymously, thousands of married women confessed they felt neglected. They felt “underappreciated”, and many said they were dissatisfied with the emotional warmth and tenderness they were getting.

Many admitted to being in good relationships with “great guys”, but they admitted to feeling more “needed” (to do the dishes, dress the kids, cook dinner, etc.) than “wanted” (romanced, appreciated, admired and sexually desired).

Now, for the reality check.