And Yet I'M here to tell you...
Your healing and survival is not the result of either time or luck. In fact, if you wait on time to heal you, then you must keep in mind that when you're in pain, time moves slowly. And if you're waiting on luck, then you'll waste a lot of time waiting. If you don't want to do that, then you need to be aware that there's a right way and a wrong way to approach your healing after infidelity. Let me explain what I mean.
Right way vs wrong Way
When it comes to healing after betrayal, there are two approaches you can take: you can take the passive approach to healing or you can take the active approach. And one approach is by far more popular than the other. Can you guess which it is? If you said the passive approach to healing, you'd be correct.
What is the passive approach?
The passive approach to healing basically comes down to your waiting on "time" or "someone" to heal you. This approach is deeply rooted in the belief that healing comes from somewhere (or someone) outside of you.
Did you notice?
All those thoughts have some variation of the same belief: my healing is not in my hands. The challenge? This passive approach simultaneously puts you in a victim mindset (I can't help myself) and fosters a sense of entitlement (they owe me). Sadly, when victim mindset and entitlement merge, they tend to make a bad situation feel much worse.
But that doesn't have to be your story.
There is a better way. There is a way that allows you to move through the recovery process with your self-esteem intact and a way that will lead to posttraumatic growth instead of posttraumatic stress. So what is that way? Great question. The answer is coming up next.
The Active Approach
Rather than taking the passive approach, I suggest you take the active approach to your healing and recovery.
So what is the active approach? The active approach is rooted in the belief that healing comes from within, and so you take an active approach to getting in touch with that place within that makes healing possible.
When you Take the Active Approach
Instead of passively suffering, you spend your time actively processing. Instead of believing there's nothing you can do to help yourself, you spend your time actively learning how to help yourself.
Perhaps Most Importantly...
When you take the active approach, you no longer settle for "suppressing or tolerating the hurt and negativity," instead, you'll take full control for releasing it completely.
The Key Decision
Now that you know the difference between taking a passive approach to infidelity recovery and taking an active learning approach, you have a key decision to make. Because it's not a matter of if you will recover—you will. (In that, you can be sure.) The decision is: "how will you recover?"
Will you take the passive approach to healing and wait on time and other people to determine the moment of your recovery? I leave that decision up to you.
And while you consider that, also consider this:
You can either hold on to the hurt or you let the hurt go—but you cannot do both. If you choose one, you automatically discard the other. So the way I see it, the real question facing you today is this: Do I want to keep holding on to the hurt, or am I ready to let it go?
And if you're one of those people who's ready to learn what they can do to heal the hurt...
Then I'd like to spend the next few minutes giving you a brief introduction to my Betrayed Partner Recovery home study online course, telling you about how it works, what makes it unique, and what you can expect—all with an eye towards helping you determine whether or not this course would be helpful to you. So let's begin by exploring what my Betrayed Partner Recovery is all about.