And Yet I'M here to tell you...
Your healing and survival is not going to be the result of time or luck. In fact, if you wait on time to heal you, then you must also keep in mind that whenever we're in pain, time tends to move VERY SLOWLY. And if you were to place the fate of your recovery in the hands of luck, then you'll wind up being disappointed, suffer much longer than necessary and waste a lot of valuable time waiting. If you would prefer to heal sooner than later, then you need to be aware that there's a right way and a wrong way to approach your healing after infidelity. Let me explain what I mean.
Right way vs wrong Way
When it comes to healing after betrayal, there are two approaches you can take: You can take the passive approach to healing or you can take the active approach. You will find that one of these two approaches is much more popular than the other. Can you guess which one it is? If you said the passive approach to healing... then you would be correct.
What is the passive approach?
The passive approach to healing basically comes down to you waiting on "time" or "someone" to heal you. This approach is deeply rooted in the belief that healing comes from somewhere (or someone) outside of you. It does not.
Did you notice?
The thoughts above all deal with some variation of the same rooted belief: My healing is not in my hands. The challenge? This type of passive approach simultaneously puts you in a victim mindset. (IE: I can't help myself). It fosters a sense of entitlement (they owe me). Sadly, whenever the victim mindset merges with the entitlement mindset, it tends to make a bad situation feel much worse.
But that doesn't have to be your story.
There's a better way. This way allows you to move through the recovery process with all of your self-esteem intact. This way leads you to post-traumatic growth instead of post-traumatic stress. So what is this way? Great question. The answer is coming up next.
The Active Approach
Rather than taking the passive approach, I suggest you take the active approach to your healing and recovery.
So what is the active approach? The active approach is rooted in the belief that healing comes from within. Those that choose to take the active approach healing discover ways of getting in touch with that place within that makes healing possible.
When you Take the Active Approach
Instead of passively suffering, you spend your time actively processing. Instead of believing there's nothing you can do to help yourself, you spend your time actively learning how to help yourself.
Perhaps Most Importantly...
When you take the active approach, you no longer settle for "suppressing or tolerating the hurt and negativity." Instead, you take full control of releasing it completely.
The Key Decision
Now that you know the difference between taking a passive approach vs taking an active "learning" approach, you have a key decision to make. Because it's not a matter of if you will recover—you will. (In that, you can be sure.) The decision is: "How will you recover?"
Will you take the passive approach to healing and wait on time and other people to determine the moment of your recovery? I leave that decision up to you.
And while you consider that, also consider this...
You can either hold on to the hurt or you can let the hurt go! But you can't do both. Here's what I mean. When you choose one, you automatically discard the other. So the way I see it...the real question facing you today is this: "Do I want to keep holding on to all of this hurt, or am I ready to let it go?"
And if you're one who's ready to learn what they can do to heal the hurt...
Then I'd like to spend the next few minutes giving you a brief introduction to my home-study for helping betrayed partners like yourself do exactly that. Keep reading and I will share with you why I created it, how it works, what makes it unique, and what you can expect to learn from it — all with an eye towards helping you determine whether or not this course would be helpful to you. So let's begin by exploring what my Betrayed Partner Recovery Home-Study is all about.