Happiness After Infidelity
How to
Rebuild
Trust After Infidelity
SAFE ENOUGH TO LOVE AGAIN
“The power of love can bridge everything – but not dishonesty.”
All relationships are based on commitment. And all commitments are based on trust.
If you don’t have trust, then you don’t have a commitment. If you don’t have a commitment, then you don’t have a relationship.
When two people feel SAFE enough with each other to share their deepest inner thoughts, fears and desires, there is trust.
Rebuilding trust means being radically honest, intimate and willing to respect truth. (even if you don't like it)
Ask yourself:
How do we ‘inhibit” each other from telling the truth?
- What do I find most difficult to discuss?
- What do I secretly worry about the most?
- What disappointments have I kept inside?
Classic Examples of Dishonesty (the REAL HOME-WRECKER)
External Dishonesty
- Lying (including little white lies)
- Exaggerations (overstating the truth, understating the truth)
- Misdirection (omission / manipulation / withholding)
- Excuses (indirectness / vagueness / avoidance)
- Pretense (faking it)
Emotional Dishonesty
- Denial (pretending to want what you don’t / hiding what you do want)
- Projection (attacking / accusing/blaming / condemning to cover up your own fears / anger)
- Selling Out (the choice for “approval” above telling the truth)
- Saving Face (the choice to “impress” above revealing ignorance)
- Deception (secret strategies to have your own way or win regardless of consequences)
- Rationalization (using the intellect to “buffer” against fear of facing feelings)
The reality is...it's better to be happy than right.
Ask yourself...
What can each of you do to make it easier to be honest with each other?
There’s NO risk in being deceptive. The REAL risk is in telling the truth.
Honesty is NOT about cruelty, preaching at each other or passing judgment.
The truth about honesty is this…
Whatever comes across your lips only bears witness to who and what YOU think you are.
THE REWARDS OF TRUST
Love without trust is impossible. That's why the real foundation of all relationships is built on one word.. trust. It's like a major gift that gives birth to many other gifts.
Here are the biggest gifts of a relationship built on a solid foundation of trust.
The Gift of Acceptance
The easiest way for one to feel total trust with another human being is knowing you are totally accepted as you are. Trust comes naturally to those who know they are accepted. When you are able to accept your partner’s shortcomings, you show them it's safe to be them self and also be honest with you.
THE GIFT OF APPRECIATION
 Appreciation comes from the gratitude you feel when you are in a relationship that is secure. It's that sense of "well-being" and fulfillment you get from being around someone who is accepting you rather than judging you. Someone who is understanding Someone who is supporting you as well as allowing you to support them.
THE GIFT OF INTIMACY
Intimacy helps you speak honestly about the issues that are dividing you. Every relationship leads you to a place of self-discovery. In order for us to experience discovery, there needs to be disclosure, attention and interest. Imagine how wonderful it would be when you allow someone to discover you. because you trust each other you can Allow yourselves to discover each other. this discovery leads to endless nights and days of adventure
Once you have trust - its like having sunshine…everything else grow naturally
what else do you need to create the relationship of your dreams? read page 3 of 3
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The Astonishing Power 
