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What is Passionate Monogamy?

What is Passionate Monogamy?

Passionate Monogamy is a new approach to monogamy — one wherein couples take an active role in designing their lifestyle and defining their relationship rules and roles so that it creates the conditions that can sustain a lifetime of love, loyalty and happiness with one partner.

Note: Passionate Monogamy is about creating the conditions by which monogamy is inspired and sustained over a lifetime. This is an important distinction to make. Because we all practice monogamy by choice, it can never be forced on any of us. The best we can do is to design our relationship to create the conditions that make this choice the most desirable one we can make.

The Two Controlling Principles

(1) Relationship happiness is created by design, not by default. No “one-size-fits-all” design for monogamy exists. This is because monogamy is NOT static, it’s organic. And so the experience must be personalized, customized and tailored to match both the individual and the collective desires of both partners.

(2) Soul mates aren’t made in heaven; they’re created right here on earth. Your relationship’s success isn’t a “gift from the gods”, nor is it based on “good luck” or on “hard work.” Rather, it emerges from your ability to design and direct your relationship intelligently, and in such a way that it exactly matches your hearts’ desires. As of today, not many couples realize their responsibility to design their own relationships. This is a very dangerous oversight. 

Why Practice Passionate Monogamy?

Because boredom is to monogamy what kryptonite is to Superman — it’s the main weakness. This is because the biggest downside to monogamy is the lack of “newness”. Therefore, it’s important for those couples that choose to practice monogamy to learn how to design a lifestyle wherein newness is always added back in. Because when it comes to monogamous relationships, there’s nothing more dangerous than boredom.

The Goals

The couple who practices passionate monogamy want two key things: (1) to design a relationship dynamic wherein “the good never stops growing”, and (2) To enjoy a relationship lifestyle that so closely matches their deepest values and desires that neither one is ever compelled to reach beyond it. And they do all this by committing to focus on four key areas.

The Four Ingredients

Couples who practice passionate monogamy make a lifetime commitment to learn, grow and continuously develop their skills, insights and understanding in these key areas of focus: (1) love, (2) trust, (3) open communications, and (4) sexual happiness.

The Difference that Makes the Difference

Rather than just blindly following the traditional model, rules and map of monogamy (which puts the majority of couples on a collision course with infidelity), couples who practice passionate monogamy think, decide, design and define the rules, roles, goals and rituals for happiness for themselves. Being fully aware that sustaining a lifetime of relationship happiness happens by design (not by default), they not only question “hand-me-down” traditions, they’re willing to go a step further and discard those traditions that aren’t working for them. And rather than just taking the good for granted… they take the time and make the effort to consciously renew their love and romance on purpose (rather than passively praying it sustains itself).

The result?

They enjoy a relationship that remains passionate, loving and infidelity-free for life — not because they got lucky, but because they got creative and active. They were willing to learn the skills and take the steps that would take them towards the kind of relationship they want. 

Is the Passionate Monogamy Approach Right for You?

Do you want to…

  • ENJOY a lifetime of love, loyalty and passion that never stops growing?
  • REKINDLE the love or passion that you had for each other?
  • SUSTAIN the high levels of connection and intimacy that you currently enjoy?
  • REBUILD your relationship so that it better matches and meets your desire?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then there’s no doubt in my mind that Passionate Monogamy is worth exploring for you. If that makes sense to you, here are the resources I offer here at GoAskSuzie.com to help facilitate your journey:

The Resources

The Manifesto: Take a look at the Passionate Monogamy Manifesto. It’s the written declaration of the guiding principles and insights of this approach.

The Session: Watch my coaching session called The Power of Passionate Monogamy. In this session, I go over some ways to create and sustain the Passionate Monogamy recipe of Love, trust and sexual happiness.

The Workshop: You can enroll in my Happiness After Infidelity for Couples, my complete marriage rebuilding online course. It’s a video-based home study course  for couples that will help you ensure that the passion, love, trust and sexual happiness in your marriage never stop growing. 

Until we speak again…

Remember… Love Wins!

Suzie Johnson