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Let’s Talk About Creating Passionate Monogamy

Advice Articles on How to Rebuild Your Marriage After Infidelity

Let's Talk About My Home Study Course for Couples

My team and I recently finished creating our Happiness After Infidelity Home Study Course for Couples. This is really a master class of marriage after infidelity.  

I designed it for you and your spouse to work together as you go through all of the stages of affair recovery… using the fewest possible steps and cutting months if not years off of your process.

How did I do that?

Well, this course doesn’t use the traditional marriage counseling approach.

Rather than using passive “talk therapy”, my Happiness After Infidelity home study marriage course is a totally immersive, active learning and skill-building program based on my own unique methods that have proven effective during my 15+ years of doing affair recovery work with my private clients. 

As you go through the course, you each will learn to:

  • Practice the art of True Forgiveness 
  • Finally allow the past to be over, so there’s nothing blocking the Love you have for each other
  • Live transparently with each other
  • Embrace radical honesty in your marriage
  • Use my Trust Building Blueprint so you’re able to restore trust and integrity back into your relationship
  • Redesign your relationship rules
  • Prevent any future problems by knowing how to recognize (and effectively disarm) the many different kinds of extramarital temptations
  • Recreate and sustain intimacy and sexual happiness in your relationship
  • Use the Power of Passionate Monogamy and my best kept secrets for keeping monogamy fresh, sweet, and endlessly romantic, and to arm you with the type of relationship insights that will transform the average marriage into a passionate one

The best part?

You never have to leave your home to participate and benefit from this life transforming information! That’s because it’s all available to you online — ready to access from your phone, tablet of computer… from anywhere in the world.

Question…

Is my Happiness After Infidelity marriage rebuilding course right for you?

Well, I have to admit, it isn’t right for every couple.

For example…

It’s not a quick fix. It’s not a magic bullet. And it’s not a substitute for clinical or medical treatment.

But what it can do… is shorten the timeline from where you are today to where you want to be. 

Which brings us to an important point.

When infidelity has rocked your relationship, you basically have two options. 

You can stay, or you can walk away.

What are the differences between marriages that end from those that rebuild?

I believe the biggest differences can be summed up in just two words: LOVE and WILLINGNESS. And here’s why.

You’ll need Love because:

  1. Only Love can inspire forgiveness (nothing else has the power to overlook betrayal).
  2. Only the memory of Love can inspire the desire to Love again.
  3. Only Love gives a hurt partner the courage to run towards the marriage rather than run away.
  4. Only Love has the power to restore trust, rekindle romance, and help you get past the hurt.
Rebuilding Your Marriage Infographic

I believe it’s because of the power of love why the Chinese characters for the word “crisis” represents both danger and the possibility of turning that danger toward the better.

Because… WITH LOVE, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

The other thing you’ll need is willingness.

To understand why willingness is so important, it helps to understand what happens when willingness is absent.

What is the absence or opposite of willingness?

Resistance!

I’m convinced that resistance (lack of willingness) is at the root of most arguments, conflicts, and power struggles. And I’m not alone in this belief. I think if we were to poll 1000 counselors, life coaches, therapists, and psychologists and ask them what they think is the biggest obstacle their clients face, I believe at least 900 of them would agree that it’s “resistance”.

For example…

  • Resistance to facing reality… is what leads to delusions.
  • Resistance to love… is what creates fear.
  • Resistance to forgiving… is what creates resentment.
  • Resistance to letting go… is what creates obsessions, phobias, and addictions.
  • Resistance to being present… is what creates boredom and restlessness.

On the other hand…

Willingness brings us exactly the opposite results.

  • Willingness to face reality… is what allows us to be honest.
  • Willingness to love… is what releases us from fear.
  • Willingness to let go… is what gives us freedom.
  • Willingness to “live in the present”… is what banishes boredom.
  • And willingness to accept the things we cannot change… is what allows us to be happy.

But here’s the best thing about willingness.

It’s a lot like peanut butter: just a little goes a long way. In the beginning, you don’t have to feel a whole lot of willingness to save a marriage. Even a tiny amount (about the size of a mustard seed) is enough to move the highest mountain.

Here’s the beautiful truth:

The choice to rebuild is risky, but it doesn’t have to be a gamble if you have even a teaspoon of willingness in your mind and even the tiniest spark of love in your heart.

How can I be so sure?

  • Because love is not a feeling… it’s a choice. If you made it once, then you can choose to make it again.
  • Because the same love that brought you together in the beginning can bring you back together in the end.
  • Because forgiveness is not a divine experience… it’s a human ability.
  • And because nothing (I mean nothing) is impossible to a willing heart.

Is rebuilding really a matter of love and willingness?

Yes. How could it not be? If you don’t believe me, then consider the opposite.

Without love, what would motivate a betrayed partner to forgive? (Truly forgive, that is.) Without love, what would inspire compassion? Understanding? Trust? And without willingness to change… willingness to stand in the storm… willingness to learn from mistakes… how could any wayward partner be trustworthy again?

The reality is, none of that would be possible. That’s why love and willingness are the two keys that unlock the door to rebuilding a stronger marriage after infidelity.

So, where do you go from here?

Will you eventually get divorced because of what’s happened, or will you choose to start again and rebuild?

As I said at the very start of this article… only you can make that decision. 

My hope and prayer is that I’ve given you enough to think about to help you make the decision that’s truly right for you.

However, here’s part of what I know…

Regardless of which path you decide to take, you’re going to be okay. 

Why do I believe this? 

Because I know there’s a place inside of you that is stronger than anything outside you.

My suggestion?

Tap into that place and let it guide you back home.

Until we speak again…

Remember… Love Wins!

Suzie Johnson

P.S. If you’re ready to let go of the past and start over, I can help you do that. I invite you to enroll in my Happiness After Infidelity affair recovery course for couples. If you and your spouse will go through the entire course… it will transform your situation and truly bless you, your marriage, and your family.