WELCOME TO Overcoming Infidelity 101
In this infographic style article - I am going to share the seven most important things you need to know about overcoming infidelity and coping with this situation the right way
This infographic style article is a crash course for people whose lives have been rocked by infidelity and are looking for way to overcome it. And if that describes you, don’t despair because there’s a right way and a wrong way to overcome this crisis. However, the challenge is that most people can’t tell the difference between the two… until now.
…are the seven key things you should know about overcoming infidelity that will help you not only to survive… but will also shorten the timeline for recovery after infidelity. As usual you can use the jump menu to go directly to an infographic or you can read along as your own pace.
QUESTIONS ANSWERED IN THIS ARTICLE:
TOP SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW
ABOUT OVERCOMING INFIDELITY
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
I’m going to go out on a limb here (don’t chop it off while I’m there) and say this: infidelity may just be the great equalizer because it happens all across the board, all around the globe, in every race, every religion, every culture, country, city, town and street. It happens among the rich, the poor, the middle class, among celebrities and common folks. And when it happens, the most common place people turn to for support, help and advice is of course the Internet. This is why I can tell you beyond a shadow of doubt, you’re not the only one looking for answers, seeking to understand, and wanting to know how to deal with this issue. Just take a look who else is searching… just like you.
You’re not alone… even if it feels like you are. In fact, right now as you’re reading these words, someone else is reading right alongside you. And before the day is over, hundreds more will. So if you’ve been feeling alienated by this experience, take heart… because although at times it feels like nobody understands (or can understand) what’s really going on, I want you to know that there are those among us that really do understand — not with our heads, but more deeply, with our hearts.
NO WINNERS, ONLY SURVIVORS
Surviving infidelity is like surviving a war. You come out okay… but only after you’ve spent months coming to terms with what happened, why it happened and how to prevent it from happening again. And just like a war, the real casualty is the loss of innocence. The betrayed partner loses the innocence that comes from trust and faith. The wayward partner loses innocence that comes from honor and self-respect. And the affair partner loses the innocence that comes from sticking to principles and values.
When it comes to infidelity, there are no winners — only survivors. Because even if the affair goes undetected, the guilt ruins the person’s self-esteem, which in turn affects the primary relationship. And when the truth is exposed, it takes effort, willingness and a lot of hard work to repair the damage it causes. Is there any good news in all of this? Surprisingly, yes, because among those who do rebuild… the experience has the side effect of making them stronger people, and as a result, a stronger couple.
IT'S A MARATHON, NOT A SPRINT
It’s a fact: the pain of betrayal is like a brick that shatters the promise and the dream of perfection. It rips the fabric of the heart to shreds and blows away years of trust and respect like a deck of cards blown away by a hurricane. And so it’s no surprise that the process of restoring, repairing, rebuilding and renewing is going to take a while. The biggest mistake people make is to expect too much too soon. And if you don’t want this to be your story, then you might want to get acquainted with my estimated recovery timeline.
Right now, impatience isn’t your friend… because overcoming is a process. The process has steps, and those steps have to be taken in order. If you try to run before you walk, it will take you twice as long. My suggestion? Recognize that overcoming is a marathon and not a sprint… so pace yourself, take it one day at a time, and let each day move you forward.
THIS IS A CALL FOR HELP, NOT HATE
Here’s the million-dollar question: if you knew how to get all your needs met honestly, would you ever attempt to do it dishonestly? Of course not. This suggests to me that infidelity is not a call for hate, but rather, a call for help. What type of help, you ask? Help learning how to get your needs met honestly. This is why I look at infidelity not as an attack, but as a call for help. Therefore, the goal isn’t to bring on more shame, punishment or dishonor, but rather, to inspire, help, support and encourage that learning, because it’s only by learning that we truly create change.
The initial decision to be unfaithful is rarely ever a rational choice. Extramarital affairs are usually driven by emotions. In fact, most people are surprised by their own behavior at the start of an affair. When you understand this, then you can also understand why infidelity is never a call for hate (or shame, contempt and punishment). Rather, it’s a call for help. And I believe that you should always answer the call for help from a place of compassion, not contempt.
NO ANSWERS, ONLY CHOICES
One thing is sure: when infidelity rocks your relationship, it puts you both in crisis and at a crossroads. And although you no longer have control over what happened — it’s the past — you do have a lot of control about what happens next. This means that you’re going to have some key decisions to make and some choices that affect both the short-term and the long-term. So with that said, here are some tips to help guide you through this decision process.
The number #1 factor that keeps people stuck is trying to answer the why questions. However, when dealing with human behavior, the why questions can never be answered to your satisfaction. So instead of focusing on “why” (which is about the past), shift your attention to “what next” and begin to make decisions that can truly help you overcome this experience.
EMOTIONS ARE YOUR BIGGEST OBSTACLES
Here’s something that might surprise you. When it comes to infidelity, what you really have to overcome isn’t the actual event, as it’s not about the facts. What you really have to overcome are the feelings and negative emotions that the event triggers. For example, maybe for you, it’s the feeling of being tossed aside like a used Kleenex… maybe it’s about the indignity of being caught like a trout on a hook… maybe it’s the chronic taste of bitterness that sours the mood and moment… maybe it’s that quiet but defeating voice of guilt that steals into the mind like a thief in the night… maybe it’s the dark feeling of anger and frustrations that often boils over like a pot of unwatched spaghetti… or maybe it’s those white hot flashes of jealousy, the obsessive nature that consistently takes over your thoughts like a car without a driver. Whatever the emotions are for you, don’t despair. Although they are painful, they do pass.
After a traumatic event, emotions often act like the ocean tides during a storm… they will be erratic, they will wax and wane, they will rise and fall, they will be rough, they will be intense, and they will seem overwhelming at times. However, know this: you’re never at the mercy of your emotions. You don’t have to drown — you can swim. You don’t have to be swept away because you can sail away. You can never be lost in the sea of your emotions because you are the captain of your “emotional” ship… the master of your own state of mind.
OVERCOMING IS ABOUT STRATEGY, NOT LUCK
The only thing standing between you and totally overcoming this experience is the right strategy. Unfortunately, many people fail to recognize this and so they end up waiting on time, waiting on a sign or their luck to change. The good news is, that’s not going to be your story. Because the good news is that overcoming infidelity is not a matter of luck, it’s simply a matter of taking the right approach and having the right strategies.
Where can you get the type of strategies you need to overcome infidelity? That’s a great question… the very best you could ask. And the answers are coming up soon.
THE TWO ROADS TO OVERCOMING INFIDELITY
We started out this process with the insight that there’s a wrong way and a right way to go about dealing with this situation. What I didn’t tell you is that more people will wind up taking the wrong approach to overcoming infidelity than the right way… not because they don’t care, but because they are simply unaware. What are they unaware of? They are unaware of the difference between the two roads/ So, let’s put an end to that right here and right now. Below is a graphic that will show the difference between the two. Your job? Notice which road you been on for the most part, and then answer the key question that follows
The Key Question
Have you been on the active road to recovery or have you been taking the passive road? Did you notice the active road and the right road are exactly the same? If you are anything like most of my readers were before they found this website, then chances are you’ve been on the passive road – without even realizing it.
But today all that can change.
MY APPROACH TO OVERCOMING INFIDELITY
I believe that everyone is doing the best they can with the training and skills they have to meet any given situation. And for the most part doing the best you can is enough to get through most challenges and problems life throws at you.
And, yet there are certain situations for which nothing in your previous skills and training and situation could have prepared you to deal with – and overcoming infidelity is one of such type of thing.
So, what do you in situation you are underprepared to deal with?
At this point you have Two choices.
Now, here the thing. If you plan on continuing with your current levels of learnings and understandings about what it takes to overcome infidelity – then what I am about to share wont have more interest to you.
However, if you like the idea of leveling up your “situation-specific knowledge” so you can overcome this situation – with your self-esteem and self-respect intact – then you’ll want to lean in an pay close attention to what’s coming next, because I am about to introduce you my powerful collection of online masterclasses and tell you about why I believe among some of the best ways you can gain the next level of type of situation specific knowledge you need to successfully overcome infidelity.
MY ONLINE MASTERCLASSES
where you can learn my more advanced skills, strategies and nuances for successfully
Here’s the thing.
When you take any of my 22 masterclass, not only are you getting access to my expertise honed from more than two decades guiding people to successfully overcome infidelity, at a fraction of what it would cost to work with me privately, but just by taking a class so rich in * are also putting yourself of the active road to recovery ( rather than the passive) and so, if you do nothing else will increase your odds of success in you favor. You can learn more about my masterclass here.
Don’t underestimate its power and effectiveness of taking a masterclass.
Just because I am presenting this information as an online video masterclass, don’t underestimate its power and effectiveness. This is because Every module is jam-packed with my absolute favorite strategies, tips, secrets, nuances and techniques. It’s not because I like them – but because they have been “field tested” to work.
In other words, the strategies and techniques you will learn in my masterclass are not from book theory. They come from real life. They come from almost two decades of working with real people just like you. And during that time, I have cultivated a literal “overcoming infidelity tool kit” of what works. And now, (after years of testing and refining), I have included everything in my works…and left out anything that has failed to work in my masterclasses
And this is why I can honestly say my masterclasses are jammed packed with advanced techniques and situation specific knowledge you won’t find anywhere else
Am I saying…
When you take my masterclass getting only best of what works, for dealing with this particular situation? – yes, that’s exactly what I am saying
Am I also saying…?
…rather than just learning from just me, what you are in fact going to be doing, is learning from the insights and experiences from hundreds of others who have successfully overcome infidelity?
Yes! That’s exactly what I’m saying. And I that’s why I believe the content you learn in my masterclass is so powerful and effective. You can learn more about my masterclasses here
MY CLOSING THOUGHTS
Here’s the thing
Once a painful thing has happened, regardless of it it’s your fault or not – you basically have two choices: You can keep circling the pain or you can keep moving forward. Both require different coping strategies, and both lead to two totally opposite outcomes
• If you keep circling the pain – you increase the odds of post traumatic stress.
• If you keep moving forward, you – increase the odds of post traumatic success.
I see my function as your coach to remind you that while you can’t do anything about the past – you can do something about the future. And I have faith that you found something here today that will nudge you towards taking the right road, the one most likely to lead you towards future you truly want.
Until we speak again –
Remember love wins