TRUE FORGIVENESS AFTER INFIDELITY
Step-by-Step Coaching for Forgiving Infidelity Without Fear or Condoning What Happened
FORGIVE WITHOUT FEAR
(without looking weak or condoning what happened)
Perhaps no other event puts a good man or a woman to the test like being blindsided by a partner’s infidelity. And once this happens, there are basically two ways people deal with the pain unleashed by this undeserved and often unprovoked level of betrayal.
The first and most popular way is the suppressive approach. This is where the anger is buried, rather than healed. The hurt is suppressed but not forgiven, and offenses are filed away but not forgotten. And as a result, the emotions swing like a pendulum from passive, calm, to aggressive, lashing out — making life with them a bit like living with a time bomb which could explode at any time.
The second way is often the road less traveled — the forgiving approach. Here, the hurt is processed, not suppressed; the pain is healed, not buried; offenses are forgiven, not filed away, and as a result, the person’s emotional state remains stable, calm and peaceful even in the midst of the worst of times.
So, there are two ways to handle the pain of infidelity: you can take the suppressive approach, or you can take the forgiving approach.
The two approaches
to dealing with infidelity
which will you choose?
If you take the suppressive approach, then I wish you all the best. However, this website, and all the resources it provides, is concerned with helping those who are interested in taking the forgiving approach.
Sadly, far more people end up taking the suppressive approach to dealing with the pain, hurt and anger brought on by infidelity than you might imagine. And it’s not because they aren’t smart people, but more likely, it’s simply because they have no idea that they are in fact taking that approach.
The Worse News
The suppressive approach is often passed off as forgiveness, and yet there’s a huge difference in the outcome between the two. But sadly, most people can’t tell the difference. And so, it’s not until after they spent months, and sometimes years, burying the hatchet and digging it up time and time again, do they even begin to wonder why the approach they’ve taken is not working.
The suppressive approach does work... but only temporarily. You see, it does provide the illusion of peace, but it’s a peace that never lasts. And it can help you get through the early days of betrayal, but it can’t help you make it pass those days. In other words, suppressing might help you tolerate pain, but it can’t help you move beyond pain. It cannot restore peace of mind. It cannot bring back things like contentment, joy or happiness. Only forgiveness can do that.
Like it or not, the suppressive approach is far more popular in our culture than the forgiving approach. Just ask anyone on the street who their role model is for dealing with the unpleasant things of life like unfairness or betrayal or being wronged. Chances are they look to some type of suppressive approach to dealing with it.
The Even Bigger Problem
Those who genuinely want to forgive often have difficulties embracing the forgiving approach even though they know it’s the right approach. Why? Because deep down, many also harbor a fear of forgiveness.
When you think about it, it makes sense.
Because a lot of what people know about true forgiveness can basically be summed up in these four words: turn the other cheek. And who in their right mind, after being slapped in the face by betrayal, would voluntarily want to turn the other cheek to invite another slap? No one would. Hence, the secret fear of forgiving. Because at first glance, it appears that forgiving means being weak, passive or even condoning what was done to you. And yet I’m here to tell you, nothing could be further from the truth.
I believe that if you fully understood the difference between the suppressive approach and the forgiving approach, you would never choose the suppressive approach. And if you truly understood the power, the self-esteem and the lasting peace you gained from true forgiveness, any fear or hesitation you might have about forgiving would immediately disappear.
So here’s the key question: Are you willing to discover the difference between suppressing and truly forgiving? Are you open to learning how to truly forgive them for what they did without condoning or looking weak? If you are, then my True Forgiveness home study course might be a part of the solution you’ve been searching for.
My True Forgiveness home study course is a 3-step coaching program, during which I take you step by step through my specific process for forgiving infidelity and releasing pain. Please note: This is not generic forgiveness coaching. These are specific strategies needed to achieve true and lasting forgiveness after infidelity, and how to do it from a place of strength and power.
The best part?
You can access my True Forgiveness home study instantly. There’s no waiting and no awkwardness. You can begin right where you are, taking it one step at a time, listening and learning from the privacy and convenience of your own home.
the most important question to ask yourself:
Have you had the feeling that something has been holding you back from truly forgiving, but you don’t know exactly what it is?
Some other questions to ask yourself:
Have you tried to forgive before and yet it’s failed to last?
Are you secretly worried about forgiving too soon?
Do you want to forgive, but you simply don’t know how to?
Are you tired of being consumed by the negative thoughts and images?
Are you exhausted by keeping up appearances and having to pretend that all is well when it really isn’t?
Are the daily resentments building up like tiny grains of sand in the shoe?
Would you like to find a way to put it all behind you once and for all?
Would you like to bring back those loving feelings?
Would you like to be finally free from all the revenge fantasies?
Would you like to go back to that sunny, positive personality you used to have?
Would you like to be sure that you’re actually moving forward, instead of just going around in circles?
Have you had a hard time forgiving the other person?
Are you worried that forgiving them will make you more vulnerable to another occurrence?
Are you concerned that if you forgive them, it would mean that they got away with it?
Do you feel outraged at having been asked to carry the burden of forgiving while they just seem to sail through it?
Does forgiving them feel totally unfair to you?
Do you experience conflict around the topic of forgiveness, where on one hand you want to forgive, but on the other hand, you really don’t want to?
Are you ready to enjoy a quiet mind and more peaceful thoughts?
Has living with your own mistrusting mind lost its appeal?
Do you struggle with the guilt that emerges after you lash out without warning?
The five biggest ways this helps you forgive without fear
- Step 01
Healing Anger & Frustration Brought On By Infidelity
Healing Anger & Frustration Brought on by Infidelity
"Your Fire Extinguisher for Angry Emotions"
Here’s the thing. Anger is one of the biggest obstacles to healing, and it’s also one of the most difficult to move past. And yet, once you’re able to move past the anger, it will feel like a dark cloud that is moved away from the sun. Everything is lighter, brighter and more manageable. So my goal for you in this session is to give you my best tools, tips and key insights for healing anger, thereby restoring the light to your heart and mind.
- Step 02
Healing the Hurt You Didn't Deserve
Healing the Hurt You Didn't Deserve
"Your Booster Shot for Healing and Resiliency"
Deep down, you know you didn’t deserve this type of pain. And so, there is a certain level of resistance and resentment to having to heal it. The bad news is, this often delays, or in some cases, it can even suspend the natural healing process. So my goal in this session is to provide powerful insights and key perspective and life-enhancing tools that will act like a booster shot and jumpstart your natural resiliency so that healing happens for you sooner, rather than later.
- Step 03
Forgiving Infidelity and Releasing Pain
Forgiving Infidelity and Releasing Pain
"Your Antidote for Unhappiness"
Forgiving infidelity is a lot like Einstein’s theory of relativity. While many people have heard about it, very few know exactly how it works. So my goal in this session is to provide you with my step-by-step formula for forgiving a cheating spouse and for you to do it in such a way that it takes the myth and mysteries and misconceptions out of it. That way, forgiving happens naturally and permanently for you.
By the time you’ve completed all 3 sessions...
Here’s just a small portion of what you’ll learn
- You’ll learn how to end the tug-of-war between your unforgiving mind and your forgiving mind.
- You’ll know what to do when certain random things trigger you.
- You’ll have strategies for neutralizing the pain that comes with disappointment as well as strategies for rekindling hope.
- You’ll learn how to overcome the unfairness from the fact that you did everything right, and yet things didn’t turn out right.
- You’ll learn how to put an end to many of the painful thoughts and images, as well as how to silence the irrational voice in the back of your mind.
- You’ll learn what to do when random things cause you to trigger or spiral down.
- You’ll learn how to approach the number one source of negative emotions from your mind.
- You’ll learn how to effectively neutralize the negative emotions that have been draining you of energy.
- You’ll learn how to overcome the indignity and the sense of outrage and even the inconvenience this all has created.
- You’ll learn how to safely come out of denial or disbelief that something like this could have even happened to you in the first place.
- You’ll learn the actual steps you need to take in order to achieve the full effects of true forgiveness.
- You’ll learn how to neutralize many of your fears around forgiveness, including the fear that if you forgive, they might do it again.
- You’ll learn how to overcome your own reluctance and your own hesitations to forgiving.
- You’ll get my 6-step process that will allow you to embrace forgiveness without condoning what happened.
- You’ll learn my proven techniques for permanently putting the past behind you.
- You’ll even get my powerful mantra that will allow you to take control of the day before your feet even hit the floor.
Perhaps most importantly...
By the time you’re halfway through your sessions, a lot of your fears around forgiving will be eliminated or greatly reduced. And many of the obsessive images and negative thinking that used to haunt you will be gone, or at least, rapidly disappearing. And by the time you’ve completed the entire course, you’ll notice a growing sense of confidence return to you. Your days will brighten up and your mood and even your sense of humor will lighten up. You’ll have a new perspective on how to forgive as well as the inspiration and the motivation to get it done.
The best part?
You don’t have to wait days or weeks to get started forgiving. In fact, you can enroll today and get immediate access to my entire True Forgiveness online course for only $99 and discover for yourself why so many other people like you have found this course so helpful in helping them to forgive the impossible and release all of the pain and suffering for good.
It has been a blessing to have found these coaching sessions
The Marriage Rehab coaching sessions have been extremely helpful for both my husband and I so far. We have completed nearly all of our individual sessions and look forward to beginning the joint sessions now that we are both in a better place to do so. The most important takeaways for me so far have been learning how to remove the obstacles to forgiveness, learning how to overcome the fixated mind, and understanding that I am not a victim in this situation. It has been a blessing to have found these coaching sessions which provide a sense of hope for my husband and I, so that we can turn a negative situation into a positive one. Thank you all and keep up the great work!
Graceful Exits is astounding
I want to thank you again for "Graceful Exits". While each program has helped the subject of its title, "Graceful Exits" is astounding. I am the betrayed looking for answers and solace. "Graceful Exits" taught me so much about human nature that I feel equipped to really make a difference with my marriage and relationships in general. I now have better depth of understanding, compassion and will apply it to myself and family. It's as if the pieces of a puzzle are beginning to fit together. Thank you.
I was in tears today
Thank you so much Suzie... for everything. I was in tears today, but your articles and coaching sessions on ending the affair really help me. I appreciate the help more than words can express. Thank you!
- We are going away this weekend. I’ve really struggled with anger these last couple of days so going through Healing the Hurt… this morning has helped. Suzie says that anger is a reaction to fear. I’ve thought a great deal about that and think I’ve pinpointed my greatest fear. I’m going to work on it today so we can have a great weekend together. Please tell Suzie how grateful our family is for her insights and how much they have been helping us. And, again, thank you for your quick attention and help.
- This is the perfect stepping stone on my path to recovery. I truly sense it in my spirit. The victim vs. survivor thought process is really resonating with me now. I have been trying to move forward after the ordeal but seemingly am in a holding pattern. The quick response leads me to believe you genuinely care. This is so needed at the moment. Friends of mine feel empathy but do not understand what going through this entails. Thanks again!
- Thank you so much for all your hard work. I have listened to Forgiving Infidelity and Releasing Pain 15 times. It has really helped me. I finally finished Healing the Hurt last night. This has made a huge impact on my life. Especially the part on “Ego”… wow! Talk about looking in the mirror. Sometimes it’s hard to see the real person you are. Positive changes are being made in my life. Again, thank you!
True Forgiveness is not about condoning "wrongs".
It’s about neutralizing the
negative side effects of those wrongs.
negative side effects of those wrongs.
Now, I’m going to go out on a limb (please don’t chop it off while I’m out there) and make a suggestion here.
If you already knew how to forgive, you probably would have already done so. And so the fact that you’re still suffering and struggling with the pain suggests to me that you might be missing a few key insights.
And here’s another thing. If you continue to do more of the same, it won’t bring you the peace you’ve been looking for. And if having peace is important, then maybe, it will be helpful for you to try a different approach.
And that’s where I come in.
Because the way I see it, my job here is to teach you how to build the bridge from where you are now (suffering), to where you want to be (freedom from suffering).
That bridge is called true forgiveness.
And if that sounds like something you’d like to learn how to do, then I invite you to click here to enroll in my True Forgiveness course right now and find out for yourself what it really means to truly forgive... and to do so from a place of strength and power.
Until we speak again,