Betrayed Partner Recovery
Step-by-step coaching for bouncing back stronger after betrayal
In the aftermath of betrayal... you can grow bitter or you can
BOUNCE BACK STRONGER
Here’s the harsh reality. Once a partner’s infidelity has happened, there’s no way for you to make it “unhappen”. And so, in the aftermath of discovery, there are basically two roads before you. The first is the hard road, where the focus is on the wrongness of what was done to you, and the emphasis is circling the hurt time and time again. And as a result, you grow more and more bitter over time. The second road is the high road. This is the road less traveled. This is where the focus is on healing, and the emphasis is on moving forward. And as a result, you get better, stronger and wiser despite all the pain you’ve been through. So, two roads to choose after betrayal: the hard road or the high road. Which will you choose?
Two Roads to take after betrayal
which will you choose ?
Here’s the bad news. If you’re in the group that chooses to take the hard road, then I do wish you all the luck in world. You’re going to need it. Because while no one can argue about the unfairness of infidelity, the fact is, the choice to focus on the hurt and the unfairness and the wrongness of what was done to you will only drain you of self-esteem and not them.
The Worse News
Here’s the worse news. Loss of self-esteem also leads to the decline of other positive emotions — emotions like hope, courage, faith, trust and resiliency. And it is also due to the decline in those positive emotions and the loss of power produced by the absence of those emotions, why the hard road is called the hard road.
Now here’s the challenge. Most people who’ll take the hard road have no idea they’re making that choice. In fact, many believe this is the only road they can take after a discovery like this. And it’s not their fault because our society often sends the message that once you’ve been wronged, it’s wrong to get over it too soon. And perhaps this is why so many betrayed partners end up becoming really good at suffering in silence, at keeping up appearances. And some are even geniuses at faking happiness. And it’s not because they’re not smart people; it’s more likely because they’re simply waiting on time to heal their wounds.
But here’s the problem. While time does heal all wounds, time has a way of healing very, very slowly. And just like how there’s no substitute for oxygen, there is no substitute for being happy now. So while pretending and faking and keeping up appearances might work for a while, ultimately, it becomes exhausting. And while we might be able to use anger or indifference to hide the pain, neither of those things will heal the pain. And while suppressing might help you bury the pain, it’s only a matter of time until the old pain surfaces again.
THE EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM
Now here’s the even bigger problem. There’s a huge difference between healing the hurt and simply living with the hurt. Sadly, many people can’t tell the difference, and so they confuse existing with living, managing with prospering, and enduring with well-being. But since none of those things can deliver true happiness, they will end up growing more and more bitter over time.
But there is good news. That doesn’t have to be your story. There is another way. You do have another option on how you want to move through the aftermath of betrayal. The hard road is not the only road. There is another way for you to move through a painful experience as this, but it’s different from the way you’ve been taught, and yet it works.
So here’s the key question: Are you willing to find out what that better way is for yourself? And are you willing to get better, rather than bitter, despite all the injustices done to you? Are you willing to give yourself permission to truly heal rather than simply tolerating the hurt?
If you are, then my 7 Steps to Betrayed Partner Recovery might be part of the solution you’ve been looking for.
My 7 Steps to Betrayed Partner Recovery is a seven-step audio coaching program... during which I guide you, nudge you, coax and coach you from the first moment of discovery towards taking that high road to healing and restoring happiness from infidelity. You should note: this is not generic life coaching, but rather all the tips, tools, actions, steps, strategies, checklists you'll be learning emerged from more than a decade of teaching betrayed partners just like you not only how to survive... but how to truly heal and return to happiness after the worse has happened.
The best part?
You can access the Betrayed Partner online course instantly. There’s no waiting and no awkwardness. You can begin right where you are, taking it one step at a time, listening and learning from the privacy and convenience of your own home.
the most important question to ask yourself:
Are you afraid that the pain, hurt, anger and fear brought on by this betrayal won’t ever truly go away, and you’ll end up suffering or dragging this baggage around with you for the rest of your life?
Some other questions to ask yourself:
Are you tired of spiraling into a dark place?
Would you like some more clarity regarding why this even happened to you in the first place?
Would you like to know how to make it safe for them to be more honest with you?
Are you tired of being at the mercy of these negative emotions?
Would you like to get off the emotional roller coaster once and for all?
Are you tired of feeling stuck in the same patterns over and over again?
Are you tired of living with your own mistrusting and suspicious thoughts?
Would you like to stop the painful images from taking over?
Are you tired of burying your resentment and hiding your pain from others?
Are you tired of being held hostage to your own urge to punish or your own wish for revenge?
Are you ready to move out of self-pity and back to self-confidence again?
Are you ready to have a quiet mind, especially at night?
Do you realize that you need to forgive, but you either don’t want to or don’t know how to?
Lately, have you noticed that the perpetually bitter or cranky person you’ve become is growing less and less appealing to others?
Are you curious about what, if anything, can be done to restore the trust and honesty in your relationship?
Are you plagued by fears of this happening again, and you’d like to make sure it never does?
The five biggest ways this helps you bounce back stronger
First Aid: Surviving the First 30 Days After the Affair
First Aid: Surviving the First 30 Days After the Affair
"Your Self-Help Emergency Room Treatment"
Even if you’re well past the first 30 days, you’ll want to complete this first session. Why? Because it's helpful for you to begin as you need to go on. Now, my goal for you in this session is to give you the tools and the checklists that will keep you out of overwhelm and prevent pitfalls and future regret makers.
How to Survive Her Affair/ How to Survive His Affair
How to Survive Her Affair/ How to Survive His Affair
"Your Essential Survivor's Guide"
Now the psychology of what it takes to survive is different for men and women, and so, I’ve made my survival guide gender specific. So complete whichever session applies to you, although I must say most clients end up doing both. So, my goal for you in this session is to give you the tools, tips and action steps that act like an emotional life vest to prevent you from sinking or drowning in uncertainty and overwhelm.
Healing Anger & Frustration Brought On By Infidelity
Healing Anger & Frustration Brought on by Infidelity
"Your Fire Extinguisher for Angry Emotions"
Here’s the thing. Anger is one of the biggest obstacles to healing, and it’s also one of the most difficult to move past. And yet, once you’re able to move past the anger, it will feel like a dark cloud that is moved away from the sun. Everything is lighter, brighter and more manageable. So my goal for you in this session is to give you my best tools, tips, and key insights for healing anger, thereby, restoring the light to your heart and mind.
Healing the Hurt You Didn't Deserve
Healing the Hurt you Didn't Deserve
"Your Booster Shot for Healing and Resiliency"
Deep down, you know you didn’t deserve this type of pain. And so, there is a certain level of resistance and resentment to having to heal it. The bad news is, this often delays, or in some cases, it can even suspend the natural healing process. So my goal in this session is to provide powerful insights and key prospective and life-enhancing tools that will act like a booster shot and jump-start your natural resiliency so that healing happens for you sooner, rather than later.
Forgiving Infidelity and Releasing Pain
Forgiving Infidelity and Releasing Pain
"Your Antidote for Unhappiness"
Forgiving infidelity is a lot like Einstein’s theory of relativity. While many people have heard about it, very few know exactly how it works. So my goal in this session is to provide you with my step by step formula for forgiving a cheating spouse and for you to do it in such a way that it takes the myth and mysteries and misconceptions out of it. That way, forgiving happens naturally and permanently for you.
Repairing Trust and Inspiring Honesty
Repairing Trust and Inspiring Honesty in your Marriage
"Your Super Glue for Repairing Broken Trust"
Trust cannot be repaired by hoping or wishing or promising. Trust is repaired by consistent right actions. This means you cannot demand trust; you must actively demonstrate it. So my goal for both of you in this session is to take the mystery out of restoring trust via actual trust building games and activities so that demonstrating trust is a real and achievable thing for both of you.
How to Infidelity-Proof Your Marriage
How to Infidelity-Proof your Marriage
"Your Vaccine to Prevent History from Repeating Itself"
If you were to think of infidelity like a virus, this session would be your vaccine against it. And so, my goal for both of you in this session is to provide you with the tools, relationship dynamics and approaches that I've used with other couples and have found to work the best in helping to boost your immunity and protect you and your relationship from infidelity ever happening again.
AND BY THE TIME YOU'VE COMPLETED ALL 7 SESSIONS...
HERE'S JUST A SMALL PORTION OF WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
- You’ll know what to expect when you’re dealing with something unexpected like infidelity.
- You’ll have my top five “what to do’s” and “what not to do’s”.
- You’ll know the pitfalls and regret makers to watch out for.
- You’ll know how to put an end to many of the painful thoughts and images, and silence the cruel and irrational thoughts in your mind permanently.
- You’ll know what to do when random events trigger or cause you to spiral down.
- You’ll have my best practices for handling things like your wounded pride or loss of respect, and even how to overcome the fear of being cheated on again.
- You’ll know how to shift out of feeling victimized to becoming a survivor even if it’s been a while since the discovery.
- You’ll learn how to overcome the single biggest obstacle standing in your way right now. Let me give you a hint: it’s got nothing to do with what they did.
- You’ll know how to separate the meaning from the madness, which is very important if you want to find closure.
- You’ll have a simple yet highly effective tool for diminishing the negative memory stored up about this and any unpleasant experience.
- You’ll know how to purge the number one source of negative emotions in your mind.
- You’ll have a guide for making difficult decisions, which is an absolute must if you’re still on the fence as to whether or not you truly want to forgive this.
- You’ll learn how to process rather than suppress pain. This is a key law of healing.
- You’ll learn why it’s not your fault no matter how imperfect the relationship was before this happened.
- You’ll know how to make it safe to trust again.
- You’ll know what to do to ensure that things like bitterness and anger and mistrust don’t take a permanent residence in your heart.
- You’ll learn how to design a relationship that matches both of your desires so that neither one of you feels the need to reach beyond it.
- You’ll learn how to wrap your head around what happened and why it happened.
- You’ll learn about neutralizing triggers and managing unwanted images.
- You’ll get a lot of things like anger mantras that will help to soothe resentments.
- You’ll learn my trust building activities. These are actual steps and actions that you can take to repair trust.
- You’ll learn how to turn promises into trust building.
- You’ll learn how to forgive without condoning or sacrificing self-respect.
- You’ll learn how to move forward despite your fear of it happening again.
- You’ll learn how to reframe the event, so it no longer drains you of power, but instead becomes a source of wisdom and empowerment.
- You’ll learn the only known cure and protection against infidelity.
PERHAPS MOST IMPORTANTLY...
By the time you’re halfway through your sessions, a lot of your fears are going to be eliminated or greatly reduced. And by the time you’ve completed all seven sessions, you’ll have a new perspective on exactly what it’s going to take for you to move past the past and allow happiness to be your default condition again.
The best part?
You don’t have to wait days or weeks to get started. In fact, you can enroll today and get immediate access to my entire Betrayed Partner Recovery course for only $199 and discover for yourself why so many other betrayed partners have found my course so helpful in their recovery process.
Suzie is the first person to break through the pain of my spouse’s affair. I started self-destructing and giving up hope. I hated him and his lover. I sat in a cemetery two Saturdays ago thinking about life and death, and played Suzie’s program on forgiveness. I think I played it 5 times before it started to sink in. Because of Suzie’s Quiet 10, I have reclaimed sanity and serenity, and my anxiety attacks have lessened. I will recommend her to my Mom who is still reeling and bitter from my Dad’s affair more than 36 years ago. God is using you mightily to bless and heal us. THANK YOU, SUZIE.
For weeks, I had anxiously awaited what that final goodbye would look like, what would I say, what could I say? As she sat at my old desk, with my old job duties now proudly hers, I looked at her and I said “I forgive you”. She sobbed in my arms for a moment and when I released her I said, “now you are going to have to find a way to forgive yourself” and I walked out. I can honestly say, I did nothing that I am ashamed of. I was respectful, courageous and passionate. I showed mercy when the ego begged for punishment. Thank you so much.
We are going away this weekend. I’ve really struggled with anger these last couple of days so going through Healing the Hurt… this morning has helped. Suzie says that anger is a reaction to fear. I’ve thought a great deal about that and think I’ve pinpointed my greatest fear. I’m going to work on it today so we can have a great weekend together. Please tell Suzie how grateful our family is for her insights and how much they have been helping us. And, again, thank you for your quick attention and help.
When bad things happen...
They can either break you or make you bounce back stronger.
Here’s the reality. Unfairness is a lot like rain: some falls in every life. And so sometimes bad things do happen to good people. And when it does, it puts you at a crossroads. You will have to choose how it will impact the rest of your life. Will you allow it to break you, or will you use it to bounce back stronger?
Here’s my wish for you.
My wish is for you to find a way to turn the disadvantage to your advantage, and in the end, for you to come out better and not bitter, and for you to bounce back stronger and wiser than before. But sadly, what I want for you is not as important as what you want for yourself.
And so consider this.
The next month is going to come and go regardless of if you do anything to help yourself get past the pain and heal the hurt brought on by their betrayal. And if that’s not enough, when you’re living with a wounded heart, time does have a way of passing very slowly.
An hour can drag by like a week; a month could feel like a year. And when you’re being consumed by negative images and tossed around like a rag doll by negative emotions, it can all feel like too much. And so if the thought of spending another month stuck in that dark place or the thought of you coming out weaker rather than stronger is just too much for you to bear, then let me invite you to go ahead and enroll in my Betrayed Partner Recovery course.
Let me guide you step by step towards taking that high road to healing after infidelity — that road that will ensure you bounce back stronger despite all the pain you’ve been through. And if that makes sense, I look forward to having you in the course.
Until we speak again.
Remember, Love Wins!