SIGNS OF INFIDELITY
Why do men cheat?
The hidden motives of an unfaithful husband.
Have you met this guy?
His name is Scott. Right from the very beginning of his 5-year marriage, Scott constantly fantasized about other women (in all kinds of kinky and adventurous situations). At first, he felt a bit guilty about his thoughts, but soon chalked it up to his “male sex drive.”
As Scott’s marriage went on, his wife, who was naturally submissive, would never initiate sex.
However, if and when Scott did initiate sex, she would rarely turn him away…
“She always left the sex up to me,” Scott said. Five years and two children later… Scott described his marriage to me as:
“Not bad enough to leave – but not good enough to be happy with either.”
Then Scott met Maria, a sexually aggressive woman who made no secret that she found him attractive. He was immediately intrigued. Maria was the exact opposite of his wife in every way and the embodiment of the type of assertive woman he’d been fantasizing about.
So when Maria came on to him during an out-of-town business convention, Scott couldn’t resist.
“She was too close to all my fantasies,” he told me. “I wasn’t sure I would ever have the chance again. So I said to hell with it, and threw caution to the wind.” I felt compelled to experience the reality of my fantasies.
Scott’s story is not unusual.
Our research indicates a large number of men who cheated, said they did it because both opportunity and feeling overwhelmed them.
In other words…the “affair” wasn’t pre-planned. In a moment of spontaneous weakness, it just happened.
As convincing as that argument might be, it’s never held up in my eyes. To me, it’s like saying, you were walking down the street and an opportunity to rob a bank just appeared — so you “took it.”
Both behaviors point to a pre-existing desire. Whether conscious or not, infidelity is always the “symptom” rather than the cause.
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WHY MEN CHEAT
Comedian Chris Rock says, “a man is only as faithful as his opportunities.” In other words…
Arousal + Opportunity = Infidelity
But, is this statement really true?To find out, let’s take a closer look. Infidelity takes the following forms:
- Emotional Affairs (EA),
- One-Night Stands (ONS)
- Long-Term Affairs (LTA).
These all share certain universal elements of cheating such as:
- Secrecy
- Deception
- Hidden Desires
- Emotional Triggers
Analyzing Emotional Triggers
 While women crave romance, men crave adventure. While women yearn to be pursued, men long to pursue.
It seems that marriage doesn’t tame the male appetite for adventure, mystery, “newness” and creative sexual exploration.
Here is my theory on why men cheat:
I believe men who are easily bored, live a "high stress life", or experience a lot of "pressure to perform", and those who are highly competitive by nature, are much more susceptible to infidelity.
It’s my theory... that how a man responds to stress, pressure and boredom ...are the biggest indicators of whether or not he is likely to cheat.
Am I saying that men who have poor problem solving skills are more likely cheat?
YES! That’s exactly what I am saying.
I believe the more you know about a man’s coping mechanisms, the better you will be able to predict his response to temptation.
Here are a few real-world “quotes” from unfaithful men about why they cheated:
 WHY I CHEATED...
“I was totally turned on by her self confidence and direct approach. At home, my wife never, ever initiates sex.
“I was looking for an escape from the pressures of everyday life, a way to let off steam – I didn’t expect anything to come of it.”
“I guess I have always been gay - but I was too afraid to explore it.”
“It was the admiration and acceptance I felt from her. At home I can never seem to do enough.”
“My girlfriend was always accusing me of cheating. So I figured I was already damned; might as well keep going."
"We're both consenting adults. It wasn’t a crime and doesn’t deserve to be punished.”
I'm in my mid-forties, and we would make out in the car like we were 16. There's a certain high to that."
“She totally took care of herself. All I kept thinking was, why can’t my wife be more like this?”
“Hey, I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or beat my family. I felt I was entitled to one night of hot sex. Lord knows I don’t get that at home."
“I feel like she really understands me. She doesn’t judge my poetry or put down my dreams of being a songwriter like my wife does."
"It's only sex. Everyone else does it, they just keep it hidden.”
So…do ALL MEN CHEAT?
The answer may surprise you. The reality is that the majority of married men and men in committed relationships are faithful.
Why do some cheat…while others stay true?
That is like asking why some babies have colic while others never do.
The bottom line is…
Men cheat for complex reasons, because men are complex beings. While there are certain behaviors that encourage infidelity more than others, the “decision to cheat” is always a personal choice.
A poor relationship may leave the door open; but it’s always a personal choice to walk through that door.
NOW WHAT?
If you are a married man facing boredom, stagnation or restlessness?
The key is NOT TO IGNORE THESE FEELINGS. I encourage you to take advantage of my deeper understandings of why men and women cheat and how to ensure you understand the best ways to proceed from where you are now. You can go here to set up an appointment to speak with me on the phone.
Until we speak again,
Remeber...Love Wins!
 Book Your Phone Appointment with Suzie Here >>>
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THE WARNING SIGNS 
OF INFIDELITY
