Married and Cheating
How To Survive Infidelity
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FOR UNFAITHFUL PARTNERS
 Are you someone who is married and cheating or have you had an extra marital affair in the past?
Here’s an intriguing question…
What does having an affair say about YOU?
Here’s why I ask. All behavior has a cause. A poor relationship might leave the door open for infidelity. But the decision to walk through... is a personal choice.
If you are married and cheating or you have had an extra marital affair sometime in the past... rather than beat yourself up... throw tantrums, blame circumstances or stage another pity party... I challenge you to search for your motives and let this experience become a journey of self-discovery.
What's happened has happened. Now, it’s time to do some work, and look for answers within.
DISCOVERING THE HIDDEN
“The grass may be look greener on the other side, until
you discover that it takes the same time and effort to grow.”
There may have been more, to your decision to cheat, than you realize.
The following five questions are designed to help you shift the focus OFF the “behavior” and ON its “cause”. Each question is aimed at helping you gain more insight into the thoughts, beliefs and decisions that lead you to make the choices you made.
For example…
If you have a family history of infidelity, having an affair could have become a "learned behavior". If so, you now have to become resolute to “unlearning” those lessons.
Get out a note book (or a blank sheet of paper) and write down your answers to each of the following questions. [And if you're feeling truly courageous, you might even want to share your insights with your partner].
If you let them, these questions can become great discovery tools. They can really open the doors to intimacy and jumpstart the positive communication between you and your partner
The Five Questions Every
Wayward Partner Needs To Ask
 QUESTION #1 WHAT WAS MY MOTIVE?
A good detective looks for an “M.O” or motive. Have you ever seriously considered what prompted your decision to cheat? For many, cheating is fueled by much deeper conflicts and internal struggles than they realize.
Here are some reasons people give for deciding to cheat.
- To regain the “thrill”.
- To prove they “still have it” and “can get it”.
- To "one up" a partner for revenge, spite or to even the score.
- To boost ego and validate sexual attractiveness.
- To make up for sexual rejection in the primary relationship.
- To pursue romance or adventure.
In hindsight, many wayward spouses look back and realize what they were truly seeking from an affair, was really a distraction, relief or escape... from problems at home.
To help you get clear about YOUR personal motives: On a blank sheet of paper, make these three columns:
Fantasies Wants Needs
Ask yourself...
What fantasies, wants or needs do I have that are NOT being met in my primary relationship?
Now, under each column, list everything you can think of. (Give yourself at least 5-10 minutes to make a complete list).
How do you respond to disappointment? >> go to page 2 of 2
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INFIDELITY
